Attention BeardofPants

[AlphaTroll]

This made me think of you (I am as baffled as you about the reasons).

Shortest Fairy Tale Ever:

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said,
"No"
and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing,
drank
martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook and farted
whenever
she wanted.
The end.

 

[Nixy]

This made me think of you (I am as baffled as you about the reasons).

Shortest Fairy Tale Ever:

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said,
"No"
and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing,
drank
martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook and farted
whenever
she wanted.
The end.

hehehehehehehe

 

[Aunty Em]

Yay for single girls!

 

[BeardofPants]

Wait... I'm in a relationship, and *I* can fart whenever I want (BF is in denial that girls fart and crap, but hey)

 

[tonksy]

Wait... I'm in a relationship, and *I* can fart whenever I want (BF is in denial that girls fart and crap, but hey)

Me too! And we go shopping, I hate dancing, I don't drink
martinis, we both clean house, cook, and fart.....course we're not married so maybe that's the idea.

 

[Nixy]

This is very appropriate this week...my roomie and I (both single) are having a martini party on Saturday

 

[HomeLAN]

Me too! And we go shopping, I hate dancing, I don't drink
martinis, we both clean house, cook, and fart.....course we're not married so maybe that's the idea.

And we do the shopping thing, she does drink martinis, we both cook, clean house and fart - and we've been married 8 years. So where does that leave it?

 

[tonksy]

And we do the shopping thing, she does drink martinis, we both cook, clean house and fart - and we've been married 8 years. So where does that leave it?

No dancing? Did you dance before the blissful union?

 

[HomeLAN]

I do NOT dance. If I'm going to act like an epileptic who just jammed his finger into a wall socket, there better be some damn good drugs involved.

 

[tonksy]

I do NOT dance. If I'm going to act like an epileptic who just jammed his finger into a wall socket, there better be some damn good drugs involved.

Pretty much my thoughts as well.

 

[chcr]

The two most massively useful things the unabashed cocksman needs to know (in order of importance):
1. How to dance. I mean really how to dance. If you can tango you can get laid anywhere, even if you don't speak a word of the language.
2. How to make the other person in a conversation the center of said conversation. It may seem like a little thing, but women love being the center of attention.

If you get good at these things, you can be ugly, a lousy lay, etc. and you will still have sex on a regular basis.

 

[HomeLAN]

I'm decent at #2 when properly motivated, but entirely useless at #1.

 

[Professur]

If you get good at these things, you can be ugly, a lousy lay, etc. and you will still have sex on a regular basis.

So where does that leave us egotistical, butt ugly, but has to replace the ceiling plaster every weekend types?

 

[Nixy]

So where does that leave us egotistical, butt ugly, but has to replace the ceiling plaster every weekend types?

Married to a woman who loves you because of what many others don't see? (yeah, I realize that can be taken two ways...dirty...or as in personality...I meant it that way )

 

[Winky]

Well lessee we are married and don't dance, drink
seldom shop and the house is always clean
as for the farting, never!!!

 

[chcr]

So where does that leave us egotistical, butt ugly, but has to replace the ceiling plaster every weekend types?

Not saying you can't get a date or a woman without it, but if you go to a night club with the specific purpose of getting laid and you don't dance, then I don't like your odds. Note that I am married now and dance rarely, but if I didn't I doubt she'd have taken a second look at me. Of course, when I played a love song on stage for her the first time she came to see the band she was hooked.

 

[Professur]

Not saying you can't get a date or a woman without it, but if you go to a night club with the specific purpose of getting laid and you don't dance, then I don't like your odds. Note that I am married now and dance rarely, but if I didn't I doubt she'd have taken a second look at me. Of course, when I played a love song on stage for her the first time she came to see the band she was hooked.

Night club? Are you insane?????

If you're looking for a date, head to the grocery. Not only do you get to see how the woman eats, you can instantly weed out married wimmen and pick off single moms too. You can instantly tell if you've got a good cook, or someone who could burn water. A good house keeper or a slpb. And if she's got 5 packs of 'C' cell batteries ...... BINGO!!!

 

[chcr]

You can instantly tell if you've got a good cook, or someone who could burn water. A good house keeper or a slpb. And if she's got 5 packs of 'C' cell batteries ...... BINGO!!!

Excuse me, but you're looking for a relationship, I'm (or at least I used to be) looking to get my rocks off and move on. I really didn't care about any of that stuff.

 

[Professur]

Excuse me, but you're looking for a relationship, I'm (or at least I used to be) looking to get my rocks off and move on. I really didn't care about any of that stuff.

Think so? You're looking at paying for a dinner and motel room. I'm looking at a diner invitation and messing up her bed sheets.

 

[tonksy]

C batteries?