I got a letter!!

[unclehobart]

Oh my ... a letter from overseas. All for me. What lewdities doth it portent? Perhaps it is that 'special item' from that ultra naughty Danish whip emporium with everything in discreet brown paper wrappers and all, dontcha know. Perhaps it is my lost great auntie passing on the secret family cooking techniques. Perhaps its is a draft letter from a government Ive never heard of... or a 15 dinar discount coupon for cattle brain soup. I am giddy at the dream unrevealed.

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[PT]

So open it already. Or is it something you're going to hold onto for a few days just to raise the excitement level even more?

 

[unclehobart]

Dare I position my longings into a shoebox cage of the mind? Can the sweet of anticipation be overdone by the candy revealed? Thought becomes the rational; emotion drives the irrational; together form unto a nectar sweeter than any flower revealed. My hands tremble at the mention of thy whispers leaping from the page... revealing the undernoursihed psyche of the self.

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[unclehobart]

The primal animal within knows naught but assault at the cost of all. It heeds not the rational Victorian stiff spine trained by centuries of supression of the natural ebb of knucle dragging man. The adrenaline rends through the zephyr gauze defenses holding fast at the floodgate like a tiny firefly Joan of Arc holding spear aloft.... no longer. Arise temperment! Judgement day is nigh!

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[PT]

Man, have you ever seen a shrink? Maybe it's time. I'm saying this as a friend, ok?

 

[Jeslek]

eh

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[unclehobart]

A sweat breaks out on my lower lip as the words roll of the page faster and faster still. A raging river breaking all banks, leaching the very loving arms of nature from the docile soils of mother earth. My hands tremble in rapture and my psyche is rent as if by thunderbolt. I am crushed and arise all the more like the phoenix; virile! unstoppable! proud and invigored! I will fight armies! Send me giants ... for I am the arm of judgement!

*flips to page2*
Oh tender child suckling at her mothers milk ... is .. is... *strokes out*

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[Dave]

decaf

 

[unclehobart]

decaf

thats cool... it perks right p with 4 shots of espresso... otherwise decaf is undrinkable toilet splash.

 

[Dave]

it perks right p with 4 shots of espresso

if you really need a pick-me-up, try chinese food and jolt cola.

 

[unclehobart]

They would kill me. Im allergic to corn. Chinese food is gravied up with fistfulls of corn starch. 99% of sodas are made with corn syrup .. even Jolt these days. They used to be made with sugar back in the 80s... but they blended it out many years back. Now its almost all corn.

 

[HeXp£Øi±]

I am crushed and arise all the more like the phoenix; virile! unstoppable! proud and invigored! I will fight armies! Send me giants ... for I am the arm of judgement!

Well done!

 

[unclehobart]

I just noticed that my hair looks really awful. I had only been out of the shower by 10 minutes when these shots were taken. My hair was still dripping wet and mussed up something fierce.

 

[AlladinSane]

So, after all this are you going to tell us what the hell the letter conatained?

 

[Leslie]

unc, you're funny!
and I thought you'd shaved!

you're not keeping it off?

 

[unclehobart]

I had a 3 inch gaotee for the longest time and then shaved it all off. I never really shave more than 3 days in a row without a reason.. never have. I hate it as it seems to dry out my skin and itch maddeningly. I tend to treat it like a lawn. Hack it down... let it go for 10 days... hack it down. Until it starts to itch or I have a formal reason... no dice. I will be doing it on Wednesday to prep for the Thanksgiving gathering on Thursday... afterall, theres no need to look like a total antisocial troll amongst strangers.

 

[unclehobart]

So, after all this are you going to tell us what the hell the letter conatained?

A piece of personal correspondence where a friend speaks lightly of life, travel, movies, hopes, dreams, drug addiction, divorce, plastic surgery... all spun with with, humor, and a kind word.

 

[AlladinSane]

Oh, interesting reading! So rare for people to send "snail mail" (thanks for the slang greenie) in these days. BTW shaving every day suck. I ususally take it out with an electrical shaver daily and with a blade weekly(or when I have a date ). I used to let it grow for a week or more when I was not working. But then people would meet me and ask "Who are you?"

 

[PT]

I shave every Saturday, whether I need to or not. The boss doesn't mind much, as I rarely have to meet the public, and when I do they can just dismiss me as "that computer guy" and it all seems good.

 

[HomeLAN]

You truly are a sick little monkey, aren't ya?