Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason

[Guest]

Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason


WASHINGTON, DC—Assuring the nation that "there is no need for alarm," the Office of Homeland Security issued all U.S. citizens life jackets for some unexplained reason Monday.


Above: Life-jacketed pedestrians cross a busy intersection in Manhattan.
"Everything is fine. You have nothing to worry about," said Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge during a televised press conference. "Still, just to be 100 percent on the safe side, I would urge all Americans to keep these life vests on at all times."

Ridge said he was not at liberty to divulge the specific reason for the unprecedented national life-jacket distribution, but he insisted that the move is "merely a minor precautionary measure."

http://www.theonion.com/onion3821/life_jackets_issued.html

The story goes on to say that no reason was found for the massive ark being constructed just outside the city limits.

 

[sbcanada]

No crap, eh? Their "terror warnings" are completely useless. They do more harm than good.

We may or may not have received a possible tip that a terror threat has been made against some possible targets in the U.S. We cannot say for sure if there is a terrorist threat at this time, or of what nature it is, or where it may occur, but we are warning the public. BEWARE! TERRORISTS COULD STRIKE AT ANY TIME! *panic now*