Serious question: I really need some advice please

[Jeslek]

A lot has happened in my life, but during the last few weeks I realized I'm lacking knowledge on how to treat a very specific situation.

What should I do if a friend comes to me and tells me he wants to commit suicide? I really don't know how to treat such a situation. I could really use some advice here. Please.

 

[PT]

Tough one. My wife is a psychologist and deals with these people almost every day. First step is to not get mad. Just start talking to them, ask them if they have a plan on how to do it, if they do, they are serious about it, and it may be best to get some outside help for them if at all possible. If they don't have a plan, then the best thing to do is talk to them about why, and use those reasons to justify why they should not. Tell them how much you would miss them, how much thier family would miss them, how much they would miss by being gone. If you don't feel comfortable in doing this, get him help, he may hate you for it now, but he will most likely thank you for it someday.

 

[ris]

talk to him gently, ask him why he feels the need to bring his life to and prematurely. talk through the reasons, be supportive, listen and don't judge. reassure and support.

if he finds it too hard to talk to you about the things that bother him suggest he speaks to someone neutral [counsellor/doctor etc].

remember - if he has come to you it is in part a cry for help, support and reassurance are the most useful things you can give.

 

[freako104]

try to be as caring as you can. also dont ever say anything to hurt him(i know that isnt the best way to say it but realise he is in a lot of pain as it is and i have had friends who were suicidal and i thank god theyre not anymore but some people gave them shit which made it worse) also let him know there are other ways out of his situation. tell him how permanent it is. also let his parents and also people who were trained for this as well. tell him to talk to people that care for him. LL i hope this wont offend you by saying this but in the end it is his choice. just be there for him.

 

[Jeslek]

Ah ok. Thanks. I've been handling it in the way ris described. Very fortunately none of them ever succeeded.

 

[Scanty]

I PM'd you.

 

[Luis G]

the way i do is to talk straight, and sometimes in a rude way, and some other times i also use words like "stupidity", "asshole", "retard", and such.

BUT, not everybody can make "proper" use of such procedure (maybe i'm gifted ), i suggest you not to try it.

 

[Jeslek]

I PM'd you.

Yes I saw, thank you very much.

 

[greenfreak]

I have learned that you should not be responsible for the psychological state of anyone. Get them help, you are not a professional and should not take the burden of it all on your own. You don't want to be responsible for someone else's life, please trust me on this. They have a much better chance seeing a professional. I don't know about health insurance up there but therapy is covered under insurance here (with a small out of pocket fee per occurance). Good luck with this.

 

[Jeslek]

One of them is taking therapy, and doing better. I'm a very, very open person and a lot of people come to me with problems, issues, and so on. I don't mind, I just try to be a friend. However this is the one issue I'm scared of to deal with. Thanks for the advice

 

[Gonz]

What should I do if a friend comes to me and tells me he wants to commit suicide?

Assuming your friend is under 30 and unmarried, GO TO HIS PARENTS NOW!! This is too much for you, as a friend, to handle. You may lose a friend, but that is a risk a friend takes. Dead best buds or living & mad, take your pick.

DO NOT HESITATE.

 

[AlladinSane]

Lots of good advice. But I can tell you nothing is better than getting professional help. Talk them to really get some. And never underestimate people's reasons. Only a person knows his own pain...