PrincessLissa
New Member
Asshat Daily 12/27/04
How to be a Motorcycle
It has become increasingly common to see a large, oversized, vehicle wedged into an incredibly small parking space with a clearly marked sign that reads “Motorcycle Parking Only”. Being an asshat automatically gives you the right, nay the obligation, to park in this spot. If you can manage to park at an obvious angle, this is even better. There are only a few rules that apply to this situation. First, and probably most importantly, your car must be as large as humanly possible so that your front or back end will hang out into the rest of the street or parking lot blocking the pathway of all other passing cars. Also, a wide base to the car is a must because you wouldn’t want to avoid hitting the car next to you with your door upon exiting the car. Secondly, the dirtier your car is, the more effect you will have on all those idiots that drive or walk by and comment on your skilled asshatery, and yes, this is always a compliment. Lastly, make sure that you have an audience when exiting your car. Make sure to take your time and remember to wear your shit-eating grin just to prove that you really don’t care about anyone else but your self. Now, you are successfully a motorcycle.
How to be a Motorcycle
It has become increasingly common to see a large, oversized, vehicle wedged into an incredibly small parking space with a clearly marked sign that reads “Motorcycle Parking Only”. Being an asshat automatically gives you the right, nay the obligation, to park in this spot. If you can manage to park at an obvious angle, this is even better. There are only a few rules that apply to this situation. First, and probably most importantly, your car must be as large as humanly possible so that your front or back end will hang out into the rest of the street or parking lot blocking the pathway of all other passing cars. Also, a wide base to the car is a must because you wouldn’t want to avoid hitting the car next to you with your door upon exiting the car. Secondly, the dirtier your car is, the more effect you will have on all those idiots that drive or walk by and comment on your skilled asshatery, and yes, this is always a compliment. Lastly, make sure that you have an audience when exiting your car. Make sure to take your time and remember to wear your shit-eating grin just to prove that you really don’t care about anyone else but your self. Now, you are successfully a motorcycle.
