A few random facts about Vin Diesel

[chcr]

Refresh for more

Vin Diesel coined the phrase "holy shit" when he was once constipated for 40 days and 40 nights, this resulted in him shitting for 7 days straight. When he finally conquered his 7 day shit, he peered into the toilet only to find an exact replica of Jesus.

Vin Diesel has a collection of mounted Oompa Loompa heads in his den.

Vin Diesel does not observe Daylight Savings Time.

Vin Diesel once sneezed so hard a nearby building exploded. Upon seeing the explosion, Vin Diesel flew around the world counterclockwise fast enough to reverse time. After he had reversed time for 10 minutes, He went back to the building and went inside. He then punched Stalin in the face. Thus, Communism fell.

 

[unclehobart]

God is Vin Diesel's third grade Science Fair project.

Never expose Vin Diesel to sunlight. Never get Vin Diesel wet. And never, ever, feed Vin Diesel after midnight.

Vin Diesel's urine is thought so highly of in Germany that it is used as mouthwash.

Vin Diesel and Russell Crowe go out, once a year, and drink until they black out. It generally takes three days and more alcohol than the annual consumption of Mexico. One time Vin Diesel went out to take a piss while they were doing this, and it formed the Yellow River, which to this day still flows through China.

After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.

 

[unclehobart]

Vin once went sledding in New Hampshire and broke the sound barrier by turning his head around and blowing forcefully. As a result of the shock waves, several children died. Vin ascended to heaven and repeatedly punched God in the eye until he brought them all back to life. Every single one of those children are now scientists.

Vin Diesel was really inside Deep Blue while playing against Gary Kasparov.

For a period of time he was known as "The Scourge of Romania". He would stalk the countryside at night and eat the skin of still-living townsfolk. Ironically, this all happened just outside of Akron, Ohio

 

[chcr]

After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.

I knew it had to be something like that.

 

[greenfreak]

That's hilarious. Rusty and I dislike him intensely.

 

[AlphaTroll]

I like his arms

 

[tonksy]

he's amazing...until he opens his mouth.

 

[AlphaTroll]

Me have fantasies about being covered in Diesel

 

[chcr]

Shakespeare’s first draft of “Romeo and Juliet” was actually titled “Vin Diesel Gets All the Honey He Wants.”

 

[Inkara1]

Vin Diesel ironically created the steam engine; the diesel engine was accredited to his son, Abe Lincoln the third.

One day Vin Diesel walked into a Wal-Mart Supercenter. His steps caused there to be an avalanche of falling prices burying numerous store employees.

Shakespeare's play, Romeo & Juliet, was actually about Vin Diesel's masturbation habits.

A lot of people find the word midget to be offensive; Vin Diesel doesn't care what you call them as long as they are not over-cooked and come with a side of cole slaw.

If God made a burrito so hot that even He could not eat it, Vin Diesel would eat it with Fire sauce from Taco Bell.

Vin Diesel accepts both Visa and MasterCard.

Sliced bread is the best thing since Vin Diesel.

Gets confused easily by the Olsen Twins, he can't tell which one throws up a lot.