AlphaTroll
New Member
Bedtime prayers from the Zodiac....
ARIES (3/21-4/19):
"Dear God!
Give me PATIENCE
and I want it NOW!
TAURUS (4/20-5/20):
"God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life,
but NOT YET."
GEMINI (5/21-6/20):
"Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...
Who are you?....
What are you?.....
Where are You?.....
How many of you ARE there?
I can't figure you out!"
CANCER (6/21--7/22):
"Dear Daddy,
I know I shouldn't depend on you so much,
but you're the only One I can count on
while my security blanket is at the cleaners."
LEO (7/23--8/22):
"Hi Pop!
I'll bet you're really proud
to have me as your kid!"
VIRGO (8/23--9/22):
"Dear God,
please make the world a better place,
and don't screw it up like you did the last time."
LIBRA (9/23--10/22):
"Dear God,
I know I should make decisions for myself.
But, on the other hand,
what do YOU think?"
SCORPIO (10/23--11/21):
"Dear God, help me forgive my enemies,
even if the creeps don't deserve it."
SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21):
"OH ALMIGHTY,
ALL KNOWING,
ALL-LOVING,
ALL- POWERFUL,
OMNIPRESENT,
EVERLASTING GOD,
IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE,
I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES ---
HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!"
CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19):
"Dear Father, I was going to pray,
but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself.
Thanks anyway.
AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18):
"Hi God! Some say you're a man.
Some say you're a woman.
I say we're ALL God.
So, why pray? Let's have a party!"
PISCES (2/19--3/20):
"Heavenly Father,
as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch
to drown out my pain and sorrow,
may my inebriation be for
Thy greater Honor and Glory."
ARIES (3/21-4/19):
"Dear God!
Give me PATIENCE
and I want it NOW!
TAURUS (4/20-5/20):
"God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life,
but NOT YET."
GEMINI (5/21-6/20):
"Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...
Who are you?....
What are you?.....
Where are You?.....
How many of you ARE there?
I can't figure you out!"
CANCER (6/21--7/22):
"Dear Daddy,
I know I shouldn't depend on you so much,
but you're the only One I can count on
while my security blanket is at the cleaners."
LEO (7/23--8/22):
"Hi Pop!
I'll bet you're really proud
to have me as your kid!"
VIRGO (8/23--9/22):
"Dear God,
please make the world a better place,
and don't screw it up like you did the last time."
LIBRA (9/23--10/22):
"Dear God,
I know I should make decisions for myself.
But, on the other hand,
what do YOU think?"
SCORPIO (10/23--11/21):
"Dear God, help me forgive my enemies,
even if the creeps don't deserve it."
SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21):
"OH ALMIGHTY,
ALL KNOWING,
ALL-LOVING,
ALL- POWERFUL,
OMNIPRESENT,
EVERLASTING GOD,
IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE,
I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES ---
HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!"
CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19):
"Dear Father, I was going to pray,
but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself.
Thanks anyway.
AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18):
"Hi God! Some say you're a man.
Some say you're a woman.
I say we're ALL God.
So, why pray? Let's have a party!"
PISCES (2/19--3/20):
"Heavenly Father,
as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch
to drown out my pain and sorrow,
may my inebriation be for
Thy greater Honor and Glory."
I think that's hit them pretty much on the head judging from the people I know 
