Justintime
Guest
Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW
Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
> > 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
> >frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print
> >editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
> >
> > 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face
> >turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
> >Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
> >
> > 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
> >whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
> >
> > 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
> >new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with
> >tummy-support panels are included.
> >
> > 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
> >definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her
> >sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
> >
> > 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip
> >lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of
> >exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
> >
> > 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
> >paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
> >Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and
> >cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
> >
> > 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a
> >change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,
> >along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
> >Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard
> >to Do."
> >
> > 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
> >Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
> >
> > 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with
> >the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance
> >steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes
> >with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
> >
> > 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
> >sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick
> >and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through
> >the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the
> >book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
> > 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
> >frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print
> >editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
> >
> > 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face
> >turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
> >Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
> >
> > 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
> >whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
> >
> > 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
> >new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with
> >tummy-support panels are included.
> >
> > 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
> >definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her
> >sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
> >
> > 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip
> >lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of
> >exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
> >
> > 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
> >paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
> >Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and
> >cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
> >
> > 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a
> >change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,
> >along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
> >Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard
> >to Do."
> >
> > 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
> >Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
> >
> > 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with
> >the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance
> >steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes
> >with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
> >
> > 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
> >sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick
> >and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through
> >the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the
> >book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
]
this has got to be one of the funniest threads ive seen in a long time. barbie as middle aged and old?? classic! rock on guys!