Could you be a Jehovah's Witness?
- Thread starter Leslie
- Start date
A.B.Normal
New Member
To HELL I Am
A.B.Normal
New Member
WTF...My answers are seemed to conflict with what I was supposed to say except for how much time I have for family and I still got 30%. 
BeardofPants
New Member
40%. Apparently disowning your family is a good thing if you want to be a jehovah's witness. 
chcr
Too cute for words
You are 43% Jehovah's Witness!
I think their quiz needs a bit of work.
The part I don't understand: According to their own doctrine (as I understand it) only 144,000 people actually get to heaven. Now, you have to assume that at least some have already made it. Isn't it rather counterproductive to be trying to drum up converts? What if one of the people you turned takes what would have been your slot? That'd be a pisser.
I think their quiz needs a bit of work.The part I don't understand: According to their own doctrine (as I understand it) only 144,000 people actually get to heaven. Now, you have to assume that at least some have already made it. Isn't it rather counterproductive to be trying to drum up converts? What if one of the people you turned takes what would have been your slot? That'd be a pisser.
AlphaTroll
New Member
abunchofcrap said:
freako104
Well-Known Member
Should you worship God at the Kingdom Hall with Jehovah's Witnesses?
(Discuss this quiz, your answers, and anything else JW-related at jehovahs-witness.com.)
You are 10% Jehovah's Witness!
You have what Jehovah's Witnesses call a "rebellious spirit" and a "bad attitude". Even if you became a Witness, you would be a bad one. You'd probably talk to disfellowshipped people instead of shunning them like you're supposed to. You wouldn't blindly agree to every new teaching of the Watchtower. The only friends you would have at the Kingdom Hall would be the teenagers that think you're cool, and the other "rebels". The Kingdom Hall is not in the cards for you.
-- Your answers and some commentary follow --
How do you view the Bible?
The Bible is bunk
This is not good. The Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the Bible is fully-inspired of God. They believe that "the" Bible is the collection of 66 books found in the King James version, though they also feel that their own unique translation is the best one available. If you can't accept Noah's Ark, people conversing with donkeys, and people being executed for lying about real estate transactions, then JW's probably aren't for you.
What is the most important quality you look for in a church leader?
Honesty, Integrity
You might not fit in so well at a Kingdom Hall. Jehovah's Witnesses choose their leaders based first on quantities of service, then qualities listed in the Bible. Honest men of integrity that don't spend enough time in the door-to-door preaching work, or don't show up for all of the five weekly meetings will not become leaders among Jehovah's Witnesses.
How often do you feel like attending church?
Never, probably less
This would be a problem. Jehovah's Witnesses have five mandatory meetings a week, usually combined into three days. If you regularly miss any of them, you would be viewed as "weak". You wouldn't have many friends, since none of them would want you to drag them down.
How much of your time do you spend in recreational/family activities?
10%
From Jehovah's Witnesses' standpoint, that's quite a bit of time to spend on non-spiritual activities. Are you attending all five weekly meetings, studying for them ahead of time, and meditating carefully on them afterward? Are you going in the door-to-door preaching work as much as possible? Are you keeping up with your reading of new Watchtower publications? It's hard to believe you're taking care of these "more important things", and still able to devote so much time to secular pursuits.
What kind of vehicle do you drive?
2-door car
Nothing tells Jehovah's Witnesses that you're a worldly, selfish person like driving a 2-door car. Unless you can comfortably pack five people in it and go out in the door-to-door preaching work, Jehovah's Witnesses will not consider it a good vehicle choice. Unless it's your second car, in which case it's ok as long as it isn't too expensive and therefore materialistic.
How do you feel about people controlling who your friends are?
It's none of their business
Among Jehovah's Witnesses there is very little that is 'none of their business'. This would be considered an attitude problem that you would need to work out of yourself as you 'put on the new personality'. Before you could be accepted among Jehovah's Witnesses, you would need to be willing to let them control who you associate with, what movies you see, what books you read, and even what sorts of intimacy you enjoy with your spouse.
How important are your family members to you? (Mother, brothers, cousins)
Very important
This could be a problem. If your family members are not Jehovah's Witnesses, you will be discouraged from spending much time with them. If you do spend time with them, you'll be expected to preach to them about your new faith as much as possible. If they are currently Jehovah's Witnesses, then you may be in for trouble if you ever decide the Kingdom Hall is not for you. If you join, then leave, they will not be allowed to speak to you ever again.
How important is it to you to have the respect of your community?
Very important, I work on my reputation
Your reputation will likely take a hit if you become one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Charity giving and volunteer community work is discouraged, as it impinges on time spent in the door-to-door ministry and money that could be donated to the Watchtower. While they encourage good morals, you probably have those already. So you will appear to become more reclusive, less approachable, and your constant preaching about Jehovah's Kingdom will cause people to avoid you. The Kingdom Hall may not be the place for you.
You view holidays as opportunities to:
Reunite with old friends and family
Jehovah's Witnesses view all holidays as inherently bad. There are different objections to different holidays, but in the end they are all considered inappropriate. Since Jehovah's Witnesses will discourage you from spending time with your relatives anyway, they will certainly not accept you spending holidays with them. If this is truly important to you, then the Kingdom Hall is not going to work.
If all your friends stopped talking to you because you changed churches, you would think:
"What is wrong with them? I can believe anything I want."
Jehovah's Witnesses join for life. If they ever decide to quit being Jehovah's Witnesses, all their friends that formerly called them "brother" or "sister" will instead refuse to speak to them at all, not even a civil greeting. If you prefer to reserve the right to yourself to choose your own beliefs without fear of being shunned by your friends, you should not become one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
(Discuss this quiz, your answers, and anything else JW-related at jehovahs-witness.com.)
You are 10% Jehovah's Witness!
You have what Jehovah's Witnesses call a "rebellious spirit" and a "bad attitude". Even if you became a Witness, you would be a bad one. You'd probably talk to disfellowshipped people instead of shunning them like you're supposed to. You wouldn't blindly agree to every new teaching of the Watchtower. The only friends you would have at the Kingdom Hall would be the teenagers that think you're cool, and the other "rebels". The Kingdom Hall is not in the cards for you.
-- Your answers and some commentary follow --
How do you view the Bible?
The Bible is bunk
This is not good. The Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the Bible is fully-inspired of God. They believe that "the" Bible is the collection of 66 books found in the King James version, though they also feel that their own unique translation is the best one available. If you can't accept Noah's Ark, people conversing with donkeys, and people being executed for lying about real estate transactions, then JW's probably aren't for you.
What is the most important quality you look for in a church leader?
Honesty, Integrity
You might not fit in so well at a Kingdom Hall. Jehovah's Witnesses choose their leaders based first on quantities of service, then qualities listed in the Bible. Honest men of integrity that don't spend enough time in the door-to-door preaching work, or don't show up for all of the five weekly meetings will not become leaders among Jehovah's Witnesses.
How often do you feel like attending church?
Never, probably less
This would be a problem. Jehovah's Witnesses have five mandatory meetings a week, usually combined into three days. If you regularly miss any of them, you would be viewed as "weak". You wouldn't have many friends, since none of them would want you to drag them down.
How much of your time do you spend in recreational/family activities?
10%
From Jehovah's Witnesses' standpoint, that's quite a bit of time to spend on non-spiritual activities. Are you attending all five weekly meetings, studying for them ahead of time, and meditating carefully on them afterward? Are you going in the door-to-door preaching work as much as possible? Are you keeping up with your reading of new Watchtower publications? It's hard to believe you're taking care of these "more important things", and still able to devote so much time to secular pursuits.
What kind of vehicle do you drive?
2-door car
Nothing tells Jehovah's Witnesses that you're a worldly, selfish person like driving a 2-door car. Unless you can comfortably pack five people in it and go out in the door-to-door preaching work, Jehovah's Witnesses will not consider it a good vehicle choice. Unless it's your second car, in which case it's ok as long as it isn't too expensive and therefore materialistic.
How do you feel about people controlling who your friends are?
It's none of their business
Among Jehovah's Witnesses there is very little that is 'none of their business'. This would be considered an attitude problem that you would need to work out of yourself as you 'put on the new personality'. Before you could be accepted among Jehovah's Witnesses, you would need to be willing to let them control who you associate with, what movies you see, what books you read, and even what sorts of intimacy you enjoy with your spouse.
How important are your family members to you? (Mother, brothers, cousins)
Very important
This could be a problem. If your family members are not Jehovah's Witnesses, you will be discouraged from spending much time with them. If you do spend time with them, you'll be expected to preach to them about your new faith as much as possible. If they are currently Jehovah's Witnesses, then you may be in for trouble if you ever decide the Kingdom Hall is not for you. If you join, then leave, they will not be allowed to speak to you ever again.
How important is it to you to have the respect of your community?
Very important, I work on my reputation
Your reputation will likely take a hit if you become one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Charity giving and volunteer community work is discouraged, as it impinges on time spent in the door-to-door ministry and money that could be donated to the Watchtower. While they encourage good morals, you probably have those already. So you will appear to become more reclusive, less approachable, and your constant preaching about Jehovah's Kingdom will cause people to avoid you. The Kingdom Hall may not be the place for you.
You view holidays as opportunities to:
Reunite with old friends and family
Jehovah's Witnesses view all holidays as inherently bad. There are different objections to different holidays, but in the end they are all considered inappropriate. Since Jehovah's Witnesses will discourage you from spending time with your relatives anyway, they will certainly not accept you spending holidays with them. If this is truly important to you, then the Kingdom Hall is not going to work.
If all your friends stopped talking to you because you changed churches, you would think:
"What is wrong with them? I can believe anything I want."
Jehovah's Witnesses join for life. If they ever decide to quit being Jehovah's Witnesses, all their friends that formerly called them "brother" or "sister" will instead refuse to speak to them at all, not even a civil greeting. If you prefer to reserve the right to yourself to choose your own beliefs without fear of being shunned by your friends, you should not become one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
arty:
