Crazy

[BlurOfSerenity]

i've been really crazy lately.
me and josh broke up.
and i wanted to get back together with him but he had to go and be all sensible, and state what we both already knew.

i've been an emotional wreck lately.

work's killing me.

i've been manic (i'm bipolar), and it causes me to do things like spend a lot of money on things i don't need, and do things like cut my hair too short on my own over the bathroom sink, and dye the front purple which i'm doing right now.

sometimes i wonder if i need to go away again.
i'm too wellbehaved for hospitals tho. if i were admitted, i'd only be out the day after the next anyway,,, and the only reason it'd take that long would be paperwork, i'm sure.

besides,.. i'm done with that.

but i've had these horrible urges to do things that are bad to myself, and i really don't want to but sometimes it's all i can fucking think about and i just wonder how much more it will take until it breaks me.

i'm not really to be worried about... i have no intention of ending my life. i'm not suicidal.

but everything around me is sucking, and i just needed to ... vent.

 

[Sharky]

Hang in there, Ash. I know it's not that easy, I've been there myself. It helps to try and put everything in perspective. You'll be OK.

A little parable for you:

One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it."

"If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?"

"It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy." Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility.

Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring. On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of he poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah.

He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile.

That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity. "Well, my friend," said Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?" All the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled.

To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!" As soon as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band: "gimel, zayin, yud", which began the words "Gam zeh ya'avor" -- "This too shall pass."

At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust.

- Author unknown

 

[SexyBoo]

Wow Sharky - that was a great story....

Ashr - hang in there, I really can understand what you are going through considering my own screwed up situation. We will both make it through. I'll be thinking about you. Vent all you need to!

 

[freako104]

sorry to hear that ash. i hope youll be allright soon. tkae care. best wishes

 

[Kawaii]

i've been really crazy lately.
me and josh broke up.
and i wanted to get back together with him but he had to go and be all sensible, and state what we both already knew.

i've been an emotional wreck lately.

work's killing me.

i've been manic (i'm bipolar), and it causes me to do things like spend a lot of money on things i don't need, and do things like cut my hair too short on my own over the bathroom sink, and dye the front purple which i'm doing right now.

sometimes i wonder if i need to go away again.
i'm too wellbehaved for hospitals tho. if i were admitted, i'd only be out the day after the next anyway,,, and the only reason it'd take that long would be paperwork, i'm sure.

besides,.. i'm done with that.

but i've had these horrible urges to do things that are bad to myself, and i really don't want to but sometimes it's all i can fucking think about and i just wonder how much more it will take until it breaks me.

i'm not really to be worried about... i have no intention of ending my life. i'm not suicidal.

but everything around me is sucking, and i just needed to ... vent.

That happens to me every once in a while, but you seem to have a lot more problems than i do. Hang in there, i'll be thinking about you.

 

[tonksy]

ash....this happens to many people...you'll be okay, just be yourself.

 

[IDLEchild]

but everything around me is sucking, and i just needed to ... vent.

Yeah....like sortof lot of more like that is going to happen.....venting is the best you can do at present moment besides taking law into your hands.