Dilemma - The Ex Files

Spirit

Spirit

Kissy Goddess
My hubby and I send our kids (except our deaf child) to an awesome school. It's the reason we live where we live. It also so happens to be a Catholic School - they teach respect and kindness and tolerance. There are never any fights in the school and all the older kids watch out for the younger ones (classes are from kindergarten to grade 9) They have one class a week in religion.

Hubby's Ex has started going to a Christian church that's across the street from where she lives. When she has the kids every other Sunday, she takes them with her. The kids (7 yr old girl and 9 yr old boy) spend thier time in Sunday school - the girl enjoys it well enough, but the boy, not so much - he's deaf and no one knows how to communicate with him. So, she sent Ian and I an email requesting that she come pick up the kids on our Sunday with them (they live full time with us) so she can take them to church with her, then, too. She was very kind in her email and said she'd exchange one of her mid-week visits for a Sunday visit. Anyways, it's really not my decision - the kids are thiers and it's is up to them.

What I am concerned about is this: we send her to a Catholic school and she attends a Christian church. Can this confuse a 7 yr girl who's searching for her own take on spirituality? Is this a good thing - giving her different... *flavors*?? Not only that, but the Sunday school teacher announced to all the little kids that "There is no Santa". That is SOOOO not her business to do.

Ian says he doesn't want to give up his Sundays with his kids - but is that fair for the kids? Do we let them decide if they want to go? Not only that, but it means getting up early to get them fed and dressed, then I have the Ex in MY home on a weekend that I want to relax and not have to put on the happy *oh yes you're so wonderful* face that I do (for the kids sake) whenever she comes to pick them up.

Bleh. I don't know what my take on all this is. Mixed, I guess.
 
Ha Ha ha a mommie worried if Church is going to have a
negative influence on her wee one's

just wait til they are teenagers and start doin' stuff like you did

then you can WORRY heh heh

Nah really, the fact that they are in Church is good.
(now if someone starts wanting to drag them in to a
Mosque then you really have a problem!)

twip_2001_1213_05.jpg
 
Spirit said:
What I am concerned about is this: we send her to a Catholic school and she attends a Christian church. Can this confuse a 7 yr girl who's searching for her own take on spirituality? Is this a good thing - giving her different... *flavors*??
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IMO.............My children were baptised Catholic but we are not practising Catholics......When we moved to Florida they went to some other churches with neighborhood children. They did have a good time and want to go, which I thought was good to experience other religions. But when they asked my 11 yr old son to "except Christ into his heart", LOL....it scared him away from wanting to go back to that church. I was kinda pissed they did that without asking me first, But I believe its what the parents and that child thinks.
 
1. Catholics are in fact christians.
2. I wouldn't be to worried about the differences. The seven and nine year old may find it initially confusing, but they're old enough to start forming their own beliefs. If there is no one at the Sunday school to deal with the deaf child though, perhaps you should suggest that taking him is a bad idea (if you and dad agree of course).
3. re. no Santa, there are a lot of people who think they know better than yu what's best for you and your's. There are a higher concentration in church (any church at all) than out, but churches have hardly cornered the market. You might mention this too the kids's mom though. She might agree with you.

Edit: Just my opinion, probably nearly worth what it cost.
 
Yeah, I don't see the issue with the Catholic and Christian since Catholic IS Christian. In terms of them not being able to communicate with the deaf child though, and the "no Santa" thing. Maybe, if you guys decide to let her have them every Sunday you could suggest that she look for a different church (not different religion just different location) that might be more capable of communicating with her son and will respect the things that kids should learn from parents (like the Santa thing...). I always went to SUnday school in a Christian church (United) and noone EVER told us there was no Santa.
 
Thanks for your thoughts, all.

(that's all I can say right now... coffee is brewing.. can't think...)
 
I dunno...

My youngest Avery is a right Bible thumper, we have a newly acquired person of the Jewish persuasion in the house so he's learning and asking question after question about Judaism, and he's well educated on Chippewayan beliefs too (due to his being a mud-blood). He knows about and has celebrated Ramadan, and Kwanza, Ukranian Christmas and Easters. He's taking it all in stride as education, forming his own ideas about what he believes and how other ideas fit into that.

I tend to believe that having more information with which to ponder, assess, and affirm or reject beliefs and ideas is a good thing, myself.

HOWEVER, that woman with the no Santa thing needs a punch in the head. I would hope that the mother will consider moving to a kinder, gentler, more accepting church.
 
Leslie said:
I dunno...

My youngest Avery is a right Bible thumper, we have a newly acquired person of the Jewish persuasion in the house so he's learning and asking question after question about Judaism, and he's well educated on Chippewayan beliefs too *(due to his being a mud-blood). He knows about and has celebrated Ramadan, and Kwanza, Ukranian Christmas and Easters. He's taking it all in stride as education, forming his own ideas about what he believes and how other ideas fit into that.

I tend to believe that having more information with which to ponder, assess, and affirm or reject beliefs and ideas is a good thing, myself.

HOWEVER, that woman with the no Santa thing needs a punch in the head. I would hope that the mother will consider moving to a kinder, gentler, more accepting church.
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* I find that sentiment to be extremely offensive to anyone of a mixed-race heritage. Our blood is just as pure as anyone elses. :p
 
They aren't being brought up to be 'offended'. They called themselves that from the first Harry Potter, and find it quite hilarious.
 
Leslie said:
They aren't being brought up to be 'offended'. They called themselves that from the first Harry Potter, and find it quite hilarious.
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They may not be, but that statement is still offensive. :p
 
I think it's a great thing to introduce different religons to your kids. Let them decide which is theirs. Now, yes, it probably will get confusing when they hear different things at different churches, but for the most part they'll still get the same core message, and it's pretty easy to explain to them that the differences are just differences in beliefs, sort of a life lesson.
 
At that age the Catholic/Christian (protestant is probably a better term for distinguishing) thing probably isn’t too big of an issue…unless any of them are preparing for a major sacrament, like confession or communion. Sacraments, specifically the Eucharist, are major differences...I'd be worried the kids would bring up the sacraments in the Christian church, and given the sunday school teachers likely ignorance of Catholicism she could give a very wrong answer. Like saying the bread and wine are not truly the body and blood.

Remember, I don’t have kids, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have little brothers though (really young), for what that’s worth.
 
rrfield said:
At that age the Catholic/Christian (protestant is probably a better term for distinguishing) thing probably isn’t too big of an issue…unless any of them are preparing for a major sacrament, like confession or communion. Sacraments, specifically the Eucharist, are major differences...I'd be worried the kids would bring up the sacraments in the Christian church, and given the sunday school teachers likely ignorance of Catholicism she could give a very wrong answer. Like saying the bread and wine are not truly the body and blood.

Remember, I don’t have kids, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have little brothers though (really young), for what that’s worth.
Click to expand...

:retard3: cliffs
 
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