Ever heard of this song?

kuulani

kuulani

New Member
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

:D
 
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Click to expand...

nope, sorry never heard :headbang:
 
It's too bad the line, "I wish I was queer so I could get chicks," is an example of poor grammar. :(
 
i'll stick to the classics..

Haha
Well now we call this the act of mating but...
There are several other very important differences
Between human beings and anmials you should know about

I'd appreciate it in the butt

Sweat baby sweat baby
Sex is a Texas drop me
Can you do the kind of stuff that only friends would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Sisco, Yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two hand touch
You want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smoothered want you covered
Like my waffle house hash browns
Come quick like fed ex
Irridgenate like fex
Just like cuticle cost stock
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early
Just like day light savings time

(Chorus)
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discover channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the discover channel
Getting horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
With the lost catagrins of Egypt
Only god knows where we stuck it
Heiroglphyics let me be specific
I wanna be down in your south seas
But I got this notation that the motation of your ocean
Meets small craft of that visery
So if I captsize
And devize high tide give me five
You sunk my battle ship
Please turn me on I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me your's I'll show you mine
Tool Time you'll love it just like la
And then we'll do it doggie-style
So we can watch x-files
 
Dude! Who transcribed that song? They got half the lyrics wrong.

I'd appreciate it in the butt
Click to expand...
I'd appreciate your input

Sex is a Texas drop me
Can you do the kind of stuff that only friends would sing about
Click to expand...
Sex is a Texas drought, me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

Yes I'm Sisco, Yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
Click to expand...
Yes I'm Siskel, Yes I'm Ebert (hadn't this guy ever heard of them?)

Come quick like fed ex
Irridgenate like fex
Just like cuticle cost stock
Click to expand...
Coming quicker than Fed Ex, never reach an apex like Coca-Cola stock

discover channel
Click to expand...
Discovery Channel

With the lost catagrins of Egypt
Click to expand...
With the lost catacombs of Egypt

Heiroglphyics let me be specific
Click to expand...
Heiroglyphics, let me be Pacific (intentional error I'm guessing)

But I got this notation that the motation of your ocean
Meets small craft of that visery
Click to expand...
But I got this notion that the motion in your ocean means "small craft advisory" (small craft advisories are common in the ocean around here)

So if I captsize
And devize high tide give me five
You sunk by battle ship
Click to expand...
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5
You sunk by battleship

So show me your's I'll show you mine
Tool Time you'll love it just like la
Click to expand...
So show me yours I'll show you mine
Tool Time you'll Lovett just like Lyle
 
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