facts about men!

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A: His body.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
A: To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "feminine issues"
 
Justintime said:
Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

LOL!! :lol: this had me in stitches for ages!! :D

Brilliant stuff!
 
Justintime said:
Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.
:grinyes:
 
Justintime said:
Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

That's not really a hard choice. (pun intended) :bgtup:
 
Justintime said:
Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

:rofl2:

:D
 
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