Letter to Bush

freako104

Well-Known Member
Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.
I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose
and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you
said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try
to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries
to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them
that Leviticus 18: 22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements
of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25: 44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21: 7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do
I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1: 9. The problem is, my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:
2.clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11: 10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21: 20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does
my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19: 27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11: 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19: 19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of
two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the
trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24: 10-16)
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we
do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20: 14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
 
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1: 9. The problem is, my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

Hell yeah!!!! :D
 
Wasn't this the same letter in 'Letter to Laura Schlessinger'? You'd think the people who wrote these things would be more original...:rolleyes:
 
Not sure. I got it off another board. Not sure where the person who posted it got it. I just found it funny is all.
 
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