freako104
Well-Known Member
I think gonzll like this one
my friends emailed it to me
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> never be able to support you.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer
> to the kitchen sink.
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do men break wind more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
> ----------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> ----------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> --------------------------------------
> I married Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ----------------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
> I don't like to interrupt her.
>
> ---------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
> 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ----------------------------------------
> Marriage is a 3-ring circus.
> Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Our last fight was my fault.
> My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> I said, "Dust!"
> ----------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> ------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
> ----------------------------------------
> A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
> said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
> She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> ----------------------------------------
> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
> doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> ----------------------------------------
> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
> They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> ----------------------------------------
> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
> once.
> ----------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
> with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
my friends emailed it to me
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> never be able to support you.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer
> to the kitchen sink.
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
> ----------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ----------------------------------------
> Why do men break wind more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
> ----------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> ----------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> --------------------------------------
> I married Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> ----------------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
> I don't like to interrupt her.
>
> ---------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
> 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
> ----------------------------------------
> Marriage is a 3-ring circus.
> Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Our last fight was my fault.
> My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> I said, "Dust!"
> ----------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> ------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
> ----------------------------------------
> A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
> said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
> She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> ----------------------------------------
> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
> doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> ----------------------------------------
> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.
> They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> ----------------------------------------
> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
> once.
> ----------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
> with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
