Oh brothers and sisters, I could preach on this one for quite a while...
Kids today are brats by and large. Not all of them, but definately the vast majority. We stand around and wonder why.
I don't know why. If I did, I'd be making a lot more money than I currently make. But I have some theories about what causes some of it.
Those of you with kids aged 9 to let's say 14: Wanna know why your kids act the way they do? Treat you like a servent? Talk back? Lay around on their rosy red asses all the time? Try this sometime.
Spend a a few hours watcghing television tailored for this age group. Kim Possible. Boy Meets World. Raven. Lizzy McGuire. Just watch it. Notice what you see in both the shows and in the commercials that air during them.
Now before anyone gets started, I am not one of those goofballs who runs around screaming that TV is evil. I knew that Tipper Gore and her little headhunting posse were idiots in the 1980s, and I know it now. Just bear with me for a minute...
These and other shows like them have common threads. The parents in these shows are portrayed most often as interested well meaning idiots. They cater to the every whim of these darling little hooligans (notice they all wear the latest fashions which ain't cheap, have all the latest conveniences, etc) while somehow managing to be just dumb enough not to know that these very kids are super heroes or spies or psychics or whatever. Picture perfect homes in picture perfect neighborhoods with quirky parents and these oh so intelligent and suave kids.
The fathers usually get the brunt of the treatment, because we all know that to portray a female in a less than flatering way is not allowed. The dads then become the butt of the jokes...the loveable buffoons who cluelessly meander their way through life. One particular commercial really drives this home. Mom and Dad come into the living room where the two ultra-cool teenage girls are (guess what?) sitting on their asses doing nothing. Dad gives them cell phones, and says that now they can talk to each other...like this was impossible before the advent of cell phones I guess. They flash a look of utter contempt. Then Mom saves the day by adding that they can also talk to their friends as much as they want! Oh rapture! The brats run to Mom, Dad says some lame line like "OK...Group hug!" Dad is totally ignored as the females walk arm in arm from the room, leaving Dad, presumably the primary bread winner and the one who bought the damn phones in the first place and will be paying the bills because God in Heaven KNOWS we couldn't have these little brats actually WORK or anything, they're too busy talking to their friends, leaving Dad to stand there alone. Insert brief voice over before the final barb of Dad looking longingly in the direction the Femmes walked away, sadly holding his fist to his ear and weakly suggesting, "Call me?"
And now, back to our show...
Stack hour upon hour of this, day after day, and what do we get? Kids who think that their own parents are either a) just like the ones on TV, b) SHOULD be just like the ones on TV, or c) poor pitiful them that their parents AREN'T like those on TV.
So am I saying that the blame for unruly kids rests on the shoulders of television programming? Hardly. That is only oe part of the problem. The more serious part of the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of the parents themselves. For not taking the time to explain these differences. For not spending time with their kids and allowing Sabrina the Teenage Witch to be their babysitter.
I have an 11 year old step-daughter. I try to show her the differences without out and out SHOWING her the differences. I like to let her figure it out herself, and we steer her in the right direction as well as we can. Am I perfect? Far from it. Do we make every right decision? Not even close. But the kid knows that not every teenager lives in such a fantasy world either. Yeah, she's lazy sometimes...we all are. But she also knows that when there is work to be done she is responsible for part of it. I am currently experiencing some major health crises. This means an extra burden on both the kid and my wife around the household as I am at times unable to do much of anything. She puts up the expected amount of resistence and sometimes more, but in the end she knows that the situation is temporary (or at least I hope it is...) and that she has to carry a little bit more right now. I don't want it to be that way, but it IS that way. In exchange, she gets a few more breaks on stuff when she pitches in extra.
Point being that our kids absorb so much of what they see in others. It's their primary modus of learning. When the major influence is Hillary Duff and her television lifestyle, without parental influence, what can we expect?
Told y'all I could preach on this...
all good points