Needing help you guys...

[Jon]

Hi,

OK, so here's the story. I'm going to ask a girl who I've known for quite a while out on a date (see photo below, just for reference).

I've liked her for ages and have been putting it off for too long. While I've had a few girlfriends, they've been very immature and never serious, and I've not gotten very far, apart from losing my virginity in the most stupid situation I could have ever imagined (but that's another story which I can't be bothered to go into at this time). I would love to make this work.

Ever looked at someone and thought "Oh my God, that's the one!"?... Well, this isn't one of those situations, but it's the closest I've ever been. I can't stop thinking about her. We make each other laugh and we have shared some good times (I lived with her in uni halls of residence last year).

There's only one problem... I've never been on a serious date.

Hence, I don't have a clue what to do! I've asked loads of my friends, but they're getting sick and tired of hearing about it, so I thought I'd ask the good people here

I have an idea of clothing, places to go, etc., but I'm panicking about stuff like how long to go out for, what to do at the end of the night, yada yada yada, you get the idea.

Thank you in advance for understanding!

Best regards,

Jonathon

PS: She's the girl on the right

Attachment(s):

katherine.jpg, 39.42kb

 

[HeXp£Øi±]

Oh man. You're going to get all kinds of opinions here i can see. I think if you're nervous about a date then try to make it less like a date. Just ask her to lunch or something at first. This way you're getting her alone and it doesn't have to have the 'date' stigma attached and when it's done ask if she want's to go out again sometime. It doesn't have to start out big. If you both enjoy each other then you'll find ways to spend more time together. But start small if you feel uncomfortable. Lunch or coffee(tea) or maybe even an afternoon movie, just some simple casual alone time rather than an official 'date' can get you started without the pressure.

 

[PT]

Yep, I agree with Hex, don't try to impress the shit out of her right up front, or you'll pay hell trying to live up to it the rest of your life. Keep it real.

 

[halamikage]

First off, she looks like a really nice girl.
Now lemme see if I can offer some advice *scratching my head*

but I'm panicking about stuff like how long to go out for,

Meaning how long to be out on your date or how long to go out before acting on anything? I'm thinking its the later, so I say when things are comfortable enough, you'll know.

what to do at the end of the night,

Depends on the mood I think. Personally, I'd take a peck on the cheek (maybe lips, like I said, depends on the mood) to end a night. I wouldn't suggest groping....but like I said, it depends on the mood.

But really, my best advice to you and this may sound really silly, is to go with the flow and be yourself. I was a wreck the first time I went out on a real date (I don't know how real you can call it since I took him to a college-slash-company party...don't ask). I was terrified but things went well. I liked him a whole lot. We went out on a few more dates after but we both saw our relationship going nowhere, howe'er, we saw our friendship going everywhere. For me, that was way better than having nothing.
Just go with the flow. You'll know when to take any kind of next step. I can't explain it. You'll just know it.

Good Luck!

By the way,

Ever looked at someone and thought "Oh my God, that's the one!"?... Well, this isn't one of those situations, but it's the closest I've ever been.

Oh yes! I can definately relate to that!

 

[Jon]

thanks everyone she is a really nice girl, and i know she'll be worth it! i'll have to reply more later cos i've just finished a night shift and i'm going to bed, and i'm having to use mousekeys (damn cordless mouse)

see ya later!

jonathon

 

[Bubba]

I can't offer any advice.

 

[Nixy]

When I first looked at that pic I fear for your life, thinking it was the girl on the right (that's Maxine right?)

Unfortunately I can not offer any advice because even though I have been in love I have never been out on like a real official date. The first time my ex and I went out we were already officially a couple (we did things really weird like that ay my highschool. Make it official first, actually go on a date second). I have been out a couple times since he and I broke up but nothing serious or anything.

I hope everything works out and I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.

 

[Luis G]

Don't try to make an exceptional date, serious dates, silly dates.....they are all the same......the important thing is to be yourself, that way she can hate or fall in love with the REAL you.

 

[HomeLAN]

Listen to what Luis said. As to what to do at the end of the night, you really have two options that aren't going to screw you.

One is simply act on your feelings about what seems right, but dial it back one notch. i.e., if a kiss on the lips feels right, go for the cheek. If a tongue kiss feels right, try a dry lip kiss.

The other is even easier. Ask. Believe it or not, that always worked fairly well for me.

 

[Altron]

apart from losing my virginity in the most stupid situation I could have ever imagined (but that's another story which I can't be bothered to go into at this time)

I want to hear all about that one...

And don't try to act weird (pretend you're really really smart, or joke around more than you usually do)

That's all I got to say...

 

[AlladinSane]

Tell her some time before the end you really enjoyed the time you spent together, let her do some feedback. Depending on this feedback you'll have a clue on how far you can go. Ask her if she wants to meet you soon, if she show soem excitment you probably have suceeded. As for end of the night closings, I like to use a kiss on the forehead as an alternative, but that depends on the girl. If she's soft it can impress her, but if she's the acting type of woman it can seem too "friendly". Nothing replaces your senses here... Good luck

 

[AlladinSane]

Ever looked at someone and thought "Oh my God, that's the one!"?... Well, this isn't one of those situations, but it's the closest I've ever been.

Been there 2 times. In the two I was wrong. I'm beginning to think I let the right one slip from under my nose...

 

[freako104]

im into a girl myself so i know how you feel. i say go for it if you really like her and also let her know how you feel. make sure she feels the same so that you know also how she feels(when i amdit my feelings for a girl they have always said how they feel too). well all be here for you and good luck ok.

 

[75renegade]

I tend to agree w/ Home, Hex & Luis. Dude yer actually getting some pretty useful advice here!

Anyhows, from where I sit, my thought is, as mentioned, always be true to yerself! Remember, double lives take half as long and all one gets is broken in the end.

Don't know what she's into, but sounds like, since ya've been aquainted for a while, ya've got a head start.

I try, as a rule, to keep the interests of others in the front of my mind. I like to see others have a good time when we're hangin' out together. However, I have my own interests and values as well, and I try to be true to myself , and give the other person a "fair" view of the "real" me and the things I like, 'cause I don't have the desire or the energy to maintain anything other than that.

IE: If she's a real "mall-rat" and loves indulging the "name-brand" clothes, and maintaining the illusion of financial "superiority", (God help ya bro!), accept the fact that, if yer not about that, ya can jus' offer her yer friendship, an' a listening ear.

However, if she loves the exhileration and pure euphoria of gettin' dirty with ya on a mud track, in yer 4 x 4 Jeep, in the hot sun, with the wind on yer faces an' all........ya may have found yerself, what I personally consider, a real woman!

At any rate, if all else fails, ya might mention that ya've pledged yerself to a life of sexual "abstainence", and refuse to ever touch a woman below the waist, until marriage,........... jus' to hear her reaction (could be interestin').........but only if ya really mean it.

 

[Altron]

However, if she loves the exhileration and pure euphoria of gettin' dirty with ya on a mud track, in yer 4 x 4 Jeep, in the hot sun, with the wind on yer faces an' all........ya may have found yerself, what I personally consider, a real woman!

And that's not the only thing you can do with a woman in a jeep...

 

[dan]

apart from losing my virginity in the most stupid situation I could have ever imagined (but that's another story which I can't be bothered to go into at this time)

I want to hear all about that one...

He could easily imagine more stupid situations... there were no sheep or dead people involved, and he knew her name...

and we can all laugh about it now, hey buddy

 

[dan]

my 2p

"Hey Kat, I've gotta go buy a new shirt... wanna come with"

(btw has anyone ever heard the phrase "wanna come with" anywhere but on buffy??)

Oh, and one classic phrase for everyone to remember...

"Do you want to kiss me?"

if she says no, you can say "Oh, I didn't say you *could*, you just had a look in your eyes", and anything else, an umm or whatever, means you can go for it.

 

[Nixy]

Where is that bloke anyway? Haven't seen him around in awhile...

 

[75renegade]

However, if she loves the exhileration and pure euphoria of gettin' dirty with ya on a mud track, in yer 4 x 4 Jeep, in the hot sun, with the wind on yer faces an' all........ya may have found yerself, what I personally consider, a real woman!

And that's not the only thing you can do with a woman in a jeep...

Dunno 'bout yer Jeep Bro, but in my old CJ5, the new bucket seats I put in, still don't tilt back far enough to allow for any comfortable "hanky panky".

Perhaps that wasn't what you meant though.........(yeah right)

At any rate, I haven't had the opportunity to explore the possibilities in the new "Wrangler" models.

Mine's jus' equipped to climb, an' transgress the forbidden terrains beyond the edges of the blacktop.

 

[Altron]

However, if she loves the exhileration and pure euphoria of gettin' dirty with ya on a mud track, in yer 4 x 4 Jeep, in the hot sun, with the wind on yer faces an' all........ya may have found yerself, what I personally consider, a real woman!

And that's not the only thing you can do with a woman in a jeep...

Dunno 'bout yer Jeep Bro, but in my old CJ5, the new bucket seats I put in, still don't tilt back far enough to allow for any comfortable "hanky panky".

Perhaps that wasn't what you meant though.........(yeah right)

At any rate, I haven't had the opportunity to explore the possibilities in the new "Wrangler" models.

Mine's jus' equipped to climb, an' transgress the forbidden terrains beyond the edges of the blacktop.

You could probably do something in a Jeep Scrambler. Its a Wrangler but with more room on the end...