Not tonight .....

[A.B.Normal]

A man and his wife are lying in bed when the husband starts caressing her back.
"Not tonight, dear," she says. "I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow." So the husband rolls over and tries to go to sleep. A few minutes later, he turns back and again starts caressing her back.

"Honey, stop," she says. "I told you I have to go to the gynecologist in the morning."

"I know," he answers. "But you don't have to go to the dentist, do you?"

 

[Liliandra]

 

[paul_valaru]

a man goes to bed, and hands his wife 2 advils, she says "I don't have a headache" he says "good let's fuck"

 

[K62]

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.
The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!

 

[unclehobart]

A Polcak family was sitting at the table after a lunch when the husband said to the wife: 'Lets send the kids outside to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck.'

 

[PrincessLissa]

An old fashioned couple are lying in their seperate twin beds one night and the husband starts making whining and gestering noises for the wife to come join him in his bed. She argues a little bit but te husband sweetly tells her how much he loves her and wants to be with her. She gets out of bed to get into his and trips on the rug between the beds. The husband sits up and says "oh, honey are you okay?" and cuddles her. Then they make love and as she is going back to her bed she trips on the same rug. THe husband rolls over and mutters "clusmy bitch".

 

[Inkara1]

I'm reminded of the one where the deaf couple develops a sexual communication system. If she wants some, his answer would be to grab her boob once for yes or twice for no. Meanwhile, she should stroke his penis once for yes or 400 times for no.