The Bill O'Reilly 21 Spin Tips
A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY
by Bobbie Frank
1) Adamantly declare your show a "No-Spin Zone" and repeat this often. Soon it will appear that your spin is not really spin!
2) Make as many vague general statements as you like because:
a) if they don't pan out, who cares?
b) if they do, then you can take credit for being FIRST to tackle the issue!
3) Go for the easy targets: politicians and celebrities, and if they don't know who you are or decline to appear on your show, then portray them as being "afraid" of you because they know they're "wrong".
4) Always refer to yourself as a "reporter" and to your show as a "news program," no matter how sensationalistic the topics you have chosen.
5) Label everyone who doesn't agree with you a "liberal", and use as many colorful adjectives as possible when describing the left wing. Label everyone and everything--you can never label people enough!
6) However, never use colorful adjectives when describing your position or that of other conservatives. Portray your position as scientific granite-hard fact!
7) If you say "I only deal in facts" with enough proud anger, you will easily offset anyone who questions you and they'll be less likely to demand your proof. Or just lie and take the high road.
8) In the rare instance someone does pursue proof of your "facts," just bulldoze them with questions and opinions to create an air of 'you-must-be-crazy-to-believe-otherwise.'
9) If someone continues to demand cited facts, then say "Everyone we've talked to says so." Then book a few selected inconspicuous guests in the future to come on and back your statement. You can easily represent any group's opinion in any way you want by doing things this way!
10) Pick several obscure fringe issues to bring up during each show. It's, of course, a breeze to be right when ranting about them and this scores easy sensational-points.
11) The more questions you can fire at a guest without giving them a chance to answer, the more "authority" status you gain and the more credibility they lose. AKA The O'Reilly Master Method.
12) Whenever you get into trouble during a debate just align yourself with the working class. In fact, you can pull out your "hero-for-the-struggling-people" act for any tight spot you may find yourself in. Never underestimate how powerful it is to exploit this! A related and untouchable spin is the "hero-for-the-little-children" act.
13) If you have a guest who is beating you in debate, simply overpower them with questions, demands for facts, or just change the subject with the segue "Ok, look, let's get back to the issue," and then bring up a new issue. Remember, it is extremely easy to make an unprepared guest look bad.
14) In-between questions make little comments, unfinished question fragments, or subtle sarcastic quips that express what you really think, then quickly interrupt yourself with your next scripted question. These little remarks are pure golden spin!
15) If you have ever been to a foreign country always bring that fact up, especially if you've been to one where violent conflict was occurring (or at least nearby). This is a great defense if ever your 'journalistic integrity' is threatened or if you need to interject some patriotism to throw off a guest.
16) When all else fails, make a face of pity and say something religious like "Well, I know God blesses you," or "I don't think Jesus would do that, but...."
17) At the end of every interview just say "We'll let the viewers decide." This nicely removes your responsibility for most of the things you've just said.
18) Always take your position to the extreme when dealing with simple mundane issues. This keeps the sensationalism ball rolling.
19) Bring attention to ALL press you receive, good or bad. Also talk about press that is NOT about you as if it IS.
20) End your show with a humble-pie slice of criticism from your viewers, but always remember to follow each little run of bad opinions with one or two of praise. This end-spin is useful in many, many ways.
21) Portray all newspeople as 'afraid to ask' the 'hard-hitting' questions that you do, and tout that you get 'serious answers' even if most of your show is factually impotent. This effective spin is called the 'Viagra Tactic.'
