ocentral

Pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet,
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems,
document their repairs on the form,
and then the pilots review the gripe sheets
before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by
pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S. Took hammer away from midget.
 
[cough] no [/cough]

I got my own page for a homepage. Why would I want to make my homepage the site of some guy named Sam? :shudder:
 
Thanks Posty, good tunes. Winky, I saw something similar to that years ago regarding school buses, That was hilarious.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Click to expand...
 
You got me runnin' goin' out of my mind,
You got me thinkin' that I'm wastin' my time.
Don't bring me down,no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.

You wanna stay out with your fancy friends.
I'm tellin' you it's go to be the end,
Don't bring me down,no no no no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.

Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down.

What happend to the girl I used to known,
You let your mind out somewhere down the road,
Don't bring me down,no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.

You're always talkin' 'bout your crazy nights,
One of these days you're gonna get it right.
Don't bring me down,no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.

Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down,grroosss
Don't bring me down.

You're lookin' good just like a snake in the grass,
One of these days you're gonna break your glass.
Don't bring me down,no no no no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.

You got me shakin' got me runnin' away
You get me crawlin' up to you everyday,
Don't bring me down,no no no no no,
I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor
Don't bring me down.
 
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