oh the guilt

Leslie

Leslie

Communistrator
Staff member
I just told Avery that his dad is coming to visit him tomorrow...

He got real happy, then his face fell and he got all sad and he told me he misses Daddy lots and lots...do I miss Daddy too? I just turned on the hair dryer to avoid that one...but the rest of it...

gawd :crying3:
 
Yeah, that's a tough one. How do you tell your kids that the man they adore is a twat? I guess the only answer I know is you don't. They'll figure it out on their own soon enough.
 
I'm not telling them that...I'm not acting as he's the hero of the family anymore...but I'm not saying anything negative.

poor kids :(
 
Leslie, you know you have nothing to feel guilty about. You made the right decision. Avery will be fine. And one day, he'll realize that his father didn't have the same feelings toward him. And he'll love you all the more for being strong enough to do this for him. :hug:
 
If it helps at all, my friend Bobbi was in the same spot. Deadbeat of a husband and father, making the divorce as terrible for her as possible. She never spoke ill of him to those kids. Her oldest figured it out on his own that his Dad was a #1 asshole but never from anything she did or said. He called her up one day from college to thank her for being such a great mom and for shielding him from that. :crying6:

You're doing the best that you can, and that's all you can do. The boys shouldn't have to know that they're Dad is such a jerk but in the end, they'll know that they have a Mom that makes up for that as much as she can. :)
 
I know that you guys are right...and that's what I'm striving for...but it just sucks :mope:

I'm hoping sometime that one of the kids will say something similar to him, and it'll strike enough of a chord...maybe, just maybe...but I'm not counting on it :tardbang:
 
I'm not telling them that...I'm not acting as he's the hero of the family anymore...but I'm not saying anything negative.
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That's good Leslie. It's hard not to tell your kids their dad is an asshole when you see the look on their faces but the fact is that kids see themselves as half mom and half dad. When a child sees a parent cutting down the other half they take that upon themselves.
 
Leslie said:
I'm not telling them that...I'm not acting as he's the hero of the family anymore...but I'm not saying anything negative.
Click to expand...

It's the right way to do it if they're going to have a real childhood, but I know it's tough.

You have my respect.
 
My stepson went through that as a kid. Hiw biological father was an asshole. He figured it out by the time he was 10 or 11.
 
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