SouthernN'Proud
Southern Discomfort
If anyone finds this in poor taste, please forgive. I been here a little over a year now, and I think of some of you guys as friends, so here goes.
As many of you know, I have been battling some fairly serious health problems. I try not to whine too awful much. But it's hit a wall.
I have kept working through all of this ordeal, now stretching out over two plus years. The folks I work with have been fantastic...because a lot of those days I was more or less useless. They covered me so I wouldn't have to use all my paid time off. I've had a ton of support from my parents, my wife, my stepdaughter, my neighbors...a lot of people. I have fought this as hard as I can, for as long as I can. I can't do it anymore.
In some ways my refusal to stop working and such may have hurt my medical care. Doctors look at it and say, "Well, he's still able to work, so it must not be too bad." It is bad. Very bad. Unbearable now.
Then there's the whole Family Medical Leave issue, where your job is saved but you don't get paid. I got a mortgage. I need income.
Where is all this going, you ask?
I am scheduled for a series of tests Friday. Based on those tests, the docs will decide what if anything can be done to help me. It'll be outpatient, meaning that while they take a week to study the tests and all that, I'm still in the same boat waiting. Tonight it has become painfully clear to me that I cannot do that.
Most likely, I am going to request to be admitted to the hospital either tomorrow or tonight if this don't ease up some. I am then going to demand that something be done...NOW!!!! This may mean, if certain things show up from the tests, that I'll be in the hospital for God knows how long. A month is possible. (Guess I'll finally quit smoking, huh?) All I know is, I can no longer function with the pain I have been feeling. Morphine no longer phases it. I eat maybe a meal a week now. Even sips of water cause unearthly pain. I eat a bite here and there to keep me going, and pay the price later with pain. It's been that way for weeks now. It's enough.
So I guess you guys get a break from me for awhile. (Pause for spontaneous cheering)
To those of you who believe in the power of prayer...I'll take all I can get. Just say Mike, the out of control Rebel...He'll know.
For those who prefer to phrase it as "positive thoughts", "good vibes", whatever...send them on too. I'm greedy. It's gonna take a lot to see me through this.
Hopefully, I can manage to keep the house through all this. If not, I hear they've made fantastic advances in cardboard these days.
Just think of me now and again, send me some strength and good wishes, and keep a redneck in your thoughts and prayers. He needs 'em right now. This is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm secure enough to admit that I am scared shitless.
Thanks to all of you who have made me feel comfortable enough to say all that.
As many of you know, I have been battling some fairly serious health problems. I try not to whine too awful much. But it's hit a wall.
I have kept working through all of this ordeal, now stretching out over two plus years. The folks I work with have been fantastic...because a lot of those days I was more or less useless. They covered me so I wouldn't have to use all my paid time off. I've had a ton of support from my parents, my wife, my stepdaughter, my neighbors...a lot of people. I have fought this as hard as I can, for as long as I can. I can't do it anymore.
In some ways my refusal to stop working and such may have hurt my medical care. Doctors look at it and say, "Well, he's still able to work, so it must not be too bad." It is bad. Very bad. Unbearable now.
Then there's the whole Family Medical Leave issue, where your job is saved but you don't get paid. I got a mortgage. I need income.
Where is all this going, you ask?
I am scheduled for a series of tests Friday. Based on those tests, the docs will decide what if anything can be done to help me. It'll be outpatient, meaning that while they take a week to study the tests and all that, I'm still in the same boat waiting. Tonight it has become painfully clear to me that I cannot do that.
Most likely, I am going to request to be admitted to the hospital either tomorrow or tonight if this don't ease up some. I am then going to demand that something be done...NOW!!!! This may mean, if certain things show up from the tests, that I'll be in the hospital for God knows how long. A month is possible. (Guess I'll finally quit smoking, huh?) All I know is, I can no longer function with the pain I have been feeling. Morphine no longer phases it. I eat maybe a meal a week now. Even sips of water cause unearthly pain. I eat a bite here and there to keep me going, and pay the price later with pain. It's been that way for weeks now. It's enough.
So I guess you guys get a break from me for awhile. (Pause for spontaneous cheering)
To those of you who believe in the power of prayer...I'll take all I can get. Just say Mike, the out of control Rebel...He'll know.
For those who prefer to phrase it as "positive thoughts", "good vibes", whatever...send them on too. I'm greedy. It's gonna take a lot to see me through this.
Hopefully, I can manage to keep the house through all this. If not, I hear they've made fantastic advances in cardboard these days.
Just think of me now and again, send me some strength and good wishes, and keep a redneck in your thoughts and prayers. He needs 'em right now. This is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I'm secure enough to admit that I am scared shitless.
Thanks to all of you who have made me feel comfortable enough to say all that.
to sit and watch over you.
so I'm going to suppose you'll be okay anyway. Oh, and keep praying. Whether as you believe god is helping you or as I believe you're psyche is helping you through your belief, it clearly helps believers to pray.
