Squiggy
ThunderDick
Pregnancy Questions and Answers
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. _When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
__she's _borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says divided by two.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
__is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Our baby was born last week. _When will my wife begin to feel and
__act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
________________________________________
"A stork? _Wow, that makes a lot more sense than what my parents
tried to tell me."
________________________________________
Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. _When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
__she's _borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says divided by two.
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
__is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q. Our baby was born last week. _When will my wife begin to feel and
__act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
________________________________________
"A stork? _Wow, that makes a lot more sense than what my parents
tried to tell me."
________________________________________
