This heat must be frying brains at Toronto City Hall.
How else to explain the banning of Miss Universe from Nathan Phillips Square?
Yes, you read that right.
Natalie Glebova, 23, Toronto's own queen of the world, was to star at the Tastes of Thailand festival on the weekend.
The Thais are very big on Natalie.
She won the Miss Universe title in Bangkok seven weeks ago. Thailand made her an honorary ambassador.
Beauty pageants may have waned here. But Miss Universe is mobbed on many streets of the world.
And she is from Jarvis and Carlton, for crying out loud.
What a golden promo op for City Hall.
The Thais are into it. They have a press conference last week to announce Miss Universe will open the festival on the square. They put out a release.
BUREAUCRATS CAN READ
They forget some bureaucrats can read.
Prayoth Benyasut, deputy director of the Thai Trade Centre, gets a call from City Hall's special events office.
Check the rules of the square, supervisor Marguerite Reid tells him.
So, he does.
No hard liquor. Check.
No monkeys or venomous reptiles. Check.
No candles. Check.
No elephants. Well, it's Thailand, but...check.
No loose helium balloons. Check.
Then: "Activities which degrade men or women through sexual stereotyping, or exploit the bodies of men, women, boys or girls solely for the purpose of attracting attention, are not permitted on Nathan Phillips Square."
There, says Ms. Reid. Miss Universa non grata.
She can come. But no sash, no tiara.
Do not introduce her as Miss Universe or even as a beauty queen.
The bylaw says you must call her "an individual of note contributing to our community."
Lovely. Here she is... Miss Individual Of Note Contributing To Our Community.
Not surprisingly, Natalie and the Thais took a pass.
"It is quite weird," Benyasut says of City Hall's snub.
"She is beautiful and talented and smart. She is nothing to be shy about."
He says there were hints the fest might have trouble with future permits if the Thais did not toe the line this time.
"I felt uncomfortable," the envoy says, then turns diplomatic. "We don't know the concept or the reason behind this, but we have to respect the laws and regulations of your country."
Well, this bylaw is a ass.
"It was like a knife in the heart," Natalie tells me, midway through a fashion mag shoot.
"I'm travelling the world. I'm an ambassador for Toronto. I'm promoting Toronto. I love Toronto dearly.
"It seemed so silly. Everywhere else, I get great reaction from political leaders. But my hometown?"
Montreal's politicians, for instance, welcomed her. The mayor of her birthplace on the Black Sea in Russia has sent invites. City halls everywhere roll out the carpet.
Tastes of Thailand raised funds for tsunami relief. It also marked 60 years in the reign of King Bhu.
IT SEEMED PERFECT
"It seemed a perfect fit," Miss Universe Organization president Paula Shugart tells me from New York.
"She has a strong connection to Thailand. This was an insult not only to Natalie, but to the Thais.
"I have never been in a situation where someone has gone out of their way to un-invite a Miss Universe title-holder."
Ms. Reid does not wish to discuss this with me. Nor does the other bureaucrat she passed me to. But soon I hear from media relations guy Brad Ross.
Brad, this is the dumbest thing I've seen all month.
"What I can say, officially, is as long as this bylaw is on the books, it's enforced.
"Maybe someone was following the letter of the law and people can't be faulted for that. What needs to happen is that council would have to amend that bylaw."
And say sorry to Miss Universe and the Thais, if you ask me.
