Rap Star

[unclehobart]

Ok, all of you wannabe white boys and girls. You have just been named as the next great rap star of the ages. Lets hear your best rap name. Can you come up with a cool one? ...or are you too lame/white?

 

[PT]

Yo G Who you callin lame an shit....

Bust it up for CooPac Tootor.

 

[Mirlyn]

Yo G Who you callin lame an shit....

Bust it up for CooPac Tootor.

RAISE THE ROOF!!!!!!

 

[unclehobart]

WOO! WOO!

Everyone give it up props for Busta Hymen!

*gang hand sign*

 

[Hoon]

Slappin' ho's
Breakin' ya nose.
I just left ya wife in her panty hoes.

Check me out
I do my part
Got my penis licked
By Unclehobart!

Werd.

 

[tonksy]

HOON! where you been hiding?

 

[Hoon]

Under the bed.
If santa thinks I'm waiting for him he'll never come.

 

[tonksy]

If santa thinks I'm waiting for him he'll never come.

tried that logic once .....didn't work.....

 

[Hoon]

I know he's close.
This morning when I came in from letting my dog out..
There was snowman poop on my boots.

 

[tonksy]

I know he's close.
This morning when I came in from letting my dog out..
There was snowman poop on my boots.

no baby....those are packing peanuts....someones been stealing your mail.....

 

[Hoon]

I'll bet it was Squiggy.
He's always taking my bills and paying
them with checks signed "Georgeous George"

 

[tonksy]

I'll bet it was Squiggy.
He's always taking my bills and paying
them with checks signed "Georgeous George"

you mean those checks are no good?
SQUIGGGGY!!!!!!! you've got some explaining to do!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Hoon]

Nope. They're no good.
The power company called to explain to me that pennies wrapped in tin foil could in no way be considered a dime.

Man, that Squggy is quite the character.

 

[tonksy]

you think you've got it bad? he still owes me money now

 

[Hoon]

Get in line, momma.

 

[Dave]

...or are you too lame/white?

both

 

[tonksy]

Get in line, momma.

he write hot checks for phone sex to you, too? that bastard

 

[Hoon]

I'm ashamed to say...yes.

He once made me press the receiver against my ctotch while he hummed.

It was exhilerating at the time.
Now, I cower in shame.

 

[tonksy]

I'm ashamed to say...yes.

He once made me press the receiver against my ctotch while he hummed.

It was exhilerating at the time.
Now, I cower in shame.

yeah? i love when he has me do that almost feel bad taking the money...uh...wait...no, that's not quite true

 

[Hoon]

I'll never forget our first phone sex talk...

SQUIGGY:" I want you to take the phone cord".
HOON :"Yes"
SQUIGGY:"Wrap it around your penis"
HOON :"Ok..done"
SQUGGY :"Now take a safety pin"
HOON :"Got it"
SQUIGGY:"Are you hot "?
HOON :"Oh yeah"
SQUIGGY:"Do you know what you're going to do with the safety pin"?
HOON :"Tell me, now":::: breathing heavy ::::
SQUIGGY:"Oooh, I want you to..BEEP Oh, hold on..I've got somone on the other line."
HOON :"WTF"!