Redneck

freako104

freako104

Well-Known Member
simple ways to see if your a redneck




>
>
>The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
>
>
>You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of
>her kids.
>
>
>
>You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
>
>
>You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
>
>
>
>Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
>
>
>
>You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
>
>
>Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch
this"
>
>
>
>You think Don Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
>
>
>
>
>Your junior prom had a daycare.
>
>
>
>You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen
start
>your engines."
>
>
>
>You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
>wheels.
>
>
>
>The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how
much
>gas is in it.
>
>
>
>You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House
>of Tattoos.
>
>
>
>You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against
it.
>
>
>
>You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
>
>
>
>Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
>
>
>
>If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart...
>
>
>
>If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V...
>
>
>
>If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart...
>
>
>
>If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of
>improvement...
>
>
>
>If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
>
>
>
>If you missed 8th grade graduation because you had jury duty...
>
>
>
>If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph...
>
>
>
>
>
>HAVE A GREAT DAY, Y' ALL!
 
if your house is on wheels and the 3 vechicles in your yard aren't....you might be a redneck....
if your wife has ever said, "honey, come move this engine so i can take a bath"....you might be a redneck...
 
you might be a redneck if you family tree is a straight line


if you thought beverly hillbillies was reality TV
 
if your idea of fine dining is a 6 pack of PBR and a bologna sandwich...you might be a redneck.
 
Thanks guys! Now I have to figure out where to get those comedy shorts!
 
Nixy said:
Thanks guys! Now I have to figure out where to get those comedy shorts!
Click to expand...




the redneck series is by Jeff Foxworthy. that might help a little. mine was emailed to me
 
If you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth... if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner... if your porch collapses and kills more than three dogs... if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"... if your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan... if you've ever had to climb to the top of a water tower with a can of paint to defend your sister's honor... if going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves boots and a flashlight... if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle... if your bicycle has a gun rack... if your truck has curtains and your house doesn't... if hail hits your richest cousin's house and you have to help take it in for an estimate... if you wear a shirt that's strapless with a bra that isn't... if someone asks for your ID and you show them your belt buckle... if you think "millennium" is what's on your mom's kitchen floor... if the kids have to go hungry this week because you just had to have the Yosemite Sam mud flaps... if less than half the cars you own run... if you've been boycotting the academy awards ever since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture... and if your dog passes gas and you claim it... then you might just be a redneck.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top