RIP, my friends Yves and Kelly

BlurOfSerenity

BlurOfSerenity

New Member
1. on saturday night (may 7), my friend Yves from high school took a curve near my house at wayy too high a speed and crashed his car into a tree. his 4 passengers, most of whom i was pretty close with in high school are in the hospital, and one's been released, but Yves did not make it to the next morning. it came as a total "WTF" shocker. i had seen him just a day or two before that. and then he was gone. i started a webpage in his memory. http://yves.batwing.org .
RIP Yves

2. yesterday (may 11), my friend Kelly, also from high school, decided life wasn't worth it, and ended it with a .44 . this also came as a WTF shocker... i'm still waiting for her friend i found out from to go "just kidding, here she is". she had her depressed and hopeless times, but i dont think any of us thought too much of it... she was a teenager, and she also had her happy times. it was commented after this news, that she hid her despair very well. i never realized fully how stupid suicide was until now. she was a couple of weeks from graduating. she had friends she could have turned to for help. she was smart and pretty and cool and could have made something of herself. she could have been happy. life may suck now but it's worth sticking around to see if it gets better because with time, it often does. i just got the news like two hours ago, and it's just now really hitting me. i don't understand. she was such a sweet girl. she moved to west virginia a year or two ago and i was just thinking about finally going to see her there.
do you find its hard not to blame yourself for when someone dies like that?
i should have been more accessable. i should have been more open in reminding her i was there for her. i should have thought to visit her sooner. now when i visit her she'll be in a box, dead and unable to live out all the years that i'm sure would have been good ones, if only she'd stuck around for them.
RIP Kelly

two in one week. both people i considered friends. both people i went to high school with. both dead. neither death necessary. both frustrating and upsetting. both young.

i'm trying to find the lesson and reason in this, but it's still fucking hard.

i try to ignore it and think of other things, but it's still hard.
 
do you find its hard not to blame yourself for when someone dies like that?
i should have been more accessable. i should have been more open in reminding her i was there for her. i should have thought to visit her sooner.
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That's a natural feeling, but it's incorrect. If she was set on doing this to herself, you weren't going to be able to stop her.

There is no reason to someone dying so young, really, but if you take from it some examples of what not to do, how not to live your life (reckless driving, suicide), then at least it may not be a total waste.
 
sorry ashy :sadhug:

Your friend Kelly...she was in a place that is so dark...nothing anyone else did would have made a difference. It's a horrible place to be in. Tragic :(
 
HL covered my thoughts there.
I was going to give some rep points for that HL, but it said I
had to spread some around first, so I gave it to Ash.

I've lost friends, some accident, some suicide, You just have to carry on.
Very seldom that there's anything that could have changed things,
 
Omg that's so horrible. I'm so sorry Ash, so much death is really not something you expect to deal with at this time in your life. But HomeLAN said it best:

That's a natural feeling, but it's incorrect. If she was set on doing this to herself, you weren't going to be able to stop her.

There is no reason to someone dying so young, really, but if you take from it some examples of what not to do, how not to live your life (reckless driving, suicide), then at least it may not be a total waste.
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Those are great words of wisdom. Regret can eat you up inside over time if you let it. You know what depression can do to your state of mind, and that very little of outside forces can make a dent in that. Don't blame yourself. Only one person could have truly stopped her from ending her life. No one wants to blame those who have passed on, but it's important you don't take that blame unto yourself.

Do you know if your school is planning to address these events? Maybe some kind of grief counseling? Trauma and grief counseling can be extremely theraputic.
 
thanks everyone :hug:
i called my mom today, because she is good at knowing what to say to help me, and things that she said, as well as things my bf has said, are a lot of what's in my thoughts at this point.

on the phone i said "i may not have it too great, but at least i have something". a point jay's emphasized for a long time. each day someone's dead is another day they didn't get. but i get those days, so i should live them fully, and instead of thinking of how hard life is, i should be glad that i still have it.
even pain is a reminder that we are alive.
we should cherish every moment.

i am realising this more and more.

it's strange to think of the good ways our lost loved ones change our lives.
 
There are so many feelings in the grieving process. Never let yourself or anyone else tell you that you are wrong to feel what you feel. Everyone grieves in their own way. My many condolences ash.
 
sorry to hear all this sweetie! There are many ways of dealing with death, and there are certain processes ppl go through, what you are feeling is normal. Hang in there-were all here for ya. :winkkiss:
 
All this death... what in the world is going on?!

I'm so sorry Ash. I'm probably not the best company at the moment but if you need a venting place and I'm the last person to look to, have at it. My PM box is always open, or ask me for my IM addies...
 
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