sexist anti-man jokes

Leslie

Leslie

Communistrator
Staff member
(yet another fw.)
*of course knows that NONE of these are anywhere CLOSE to true*

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?




(Because they are plugged into a genius)




2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?


(They don't have enough time)







3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?



(They don't stop to ask directions)




4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?



(Because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock)



(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)







5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?


(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)







6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?


(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)







7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?



(Don't know.....it never happened)







(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)







And my personal favorite:







8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?





(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
 
I guess it would be my way of getting into the history books. I would be more villified than Hitler, Ed Wood, and Diet Pepsi all rolled into one. But its not as if I would be able to see it come to fruition. After all... Within 5 minutes of such a product making it to market, all of collective maledom would do unto me what was done to Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart.
 
can we tell woman jokes

how can you tell if a woman is about to say something smart

she starts by saying, a man once told me....
 
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your woman is bitching at the front door, which do you let in first?

A: The dog. It will shut up when you open the door.
 
There are nine very important men in a woman's life. They are:

Her Doctor; he says, "Take your clothes off."

Her Dentist; he says, "Open wide."

Her Veterinarian; he says, "And how is your little pussy doing today?"

Her Gardener; he says, "Do you want me to mulch your bush?"

Her Hairdresser; he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"

Her Interior Decorator; he says, "You'll like it once it's in."

Her Remodeler; he says, "It fits tongue-in-groove with a little hammering."

Her Milkman; he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"

Her Banker; he says, "If you take it out, you'll lose interest."
 
A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife.

"I'll never understand women," he replied. "I was riding up in an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!"

"I can certainly appreciate that," said the wife, "But how did you get the second black eye?"

"Well, I figured she liked it that way," said the husband, "So I pushed it back in."
 
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