paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
--Ask your Mom.
How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
--Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
How do you know you're leading a sad life?
--When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus
and a yeast infection?
--An itchy, twitchy twat.
Do you know why ghosts don't make noise when they make love?
--Because they have hollow weenies!
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
--A cock that stays up all night.
Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
--Palm Sunday
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
--Her navel.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
--A bingo machine.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
--"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
--Beer nuts are a $1. 25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
What three two-letter words denote "small"?
--"Is it in?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during s ex?
--Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with t wo women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
--Divorce proceedings, most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
--Everyone has the same DNA.
--Ask your Mom.
How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
--Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
How do you know you're leading a sad life?
--When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus
and a yeast infection?
--An itchy, twitchy twat.
Do you know why ghosts don't make noise when they make love?
--Because they have hollow weenies!
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
--A cock that stays up all night.
Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
--Palm Sunday
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
--Her navel.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
--A bingo machine.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
--"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
--Beer nuts are a $1. 25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
What three two-letter words denote "small"?
--"Is it in?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during s ex?
--Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with t wo women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
--Divorce proceedings, most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
--Everyone has the same DNA.