The city that never sleeps

Woman: No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit, and Trix were only supposed to be for kids.
Man: Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person.
[A period of silence -- the woman looks down at her food.]
Man: What's wrong?
Woman: I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong.

--Michael's Restaurant, Broadway & 34th St, Astoria
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Typical relationship...
 
Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she's still a virgin because she's only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.

--New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
 
Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

--College Walk, Columbia University
 
Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.

--207th & Broadway

:D
 
Mother to little girl: Eat your vegetables.
Little girl: I'm opposed to vegetables.
Father: Hey, your brother is opposed to dating women, and apparently we're letting that one slide.
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:D
 
Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?

--Pino's La Forchetta, Park Slope
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:rofl4:
 
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