A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this
>way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually
understand and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot.
"I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird." "Oh
yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang
>onto your perch without any feet?"
>
>"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can
understand and speak English, can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and
English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics,
religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me
cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the
guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, h sympathizes,
and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst,"
and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but
it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer
black nightie." "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up
her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot. "NO!"
he exclaims. "And she let him?" "Yes. Then he continued taking off the
nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."
>
Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
