California rejected a reading series for gender bias until The Little Engine That Could was given a sex-change operation.
Such absurdities fill Diane Ravitch's (search) new book, The Language Police, which is about the removal from school books and test questions of anything that might be offensive to anyone on the planet.
Historical accuracy often conflicts with political correctness, writes Merle Rubin in the Los Angeles Times (requires registration). A "bias and sensitivity" panel removed a test essay about patchwork quilts made by 19th-century frontier women: "The reviewers objected to the portrayal of women as people who stitch and sew, and who were concerned about preparing for marriage."
Another story about two young African-American girls, one an athlete, the other a math whiz, who help each other learn new skills, was red-flagged for stereotyping blacks as athletic (even though one of the girls was not an athlete but a "mathlete").
A passage on the uses and nutritional values of peanuts was rejected because some students are allergic to peanuts. Stranger still, a story about a heroic blind youth who climbed to the top of Mt. McKinley was rejected, not only because of its implicit suggestion that blind people might have a harder time than people with sight, but also because it was alleged to contain "regional bias": According to the panel's bizarre way of thinking, students who lived in non-mountainous areas would theoretically be at a "disadvantage" in comprehending a story about mountain climbing. Stories set in deserts, cold climates, tropical climates or by the seaside, Ravitch learned, are similarly verboten as test topics, since not all students have had personal experience of these regions.
Owls are out. Navajos don't like them. So is Mt. Rushmore, in case a Lakota (search) student might be offended. Dinosaurs suggest evolution, which offends creationists. Dolphins are regionalist: Not every student lives near the sea.
The New York Times (registration required) points out other banned words, including "brotherhood," "fraternity," "snowman" and "polo."
Mentions of cakes, candy, doughnuts, French fries and coffee should be dropped in favor of references to more healthful foods like cooked beans, yogurt and enriched whole-grain breads.
No wonder students struggle to understand what they read: Elie Wiesel (search) scrubbed of references to Jews and God doesn't make sense. No wonder they lack historical and geographical perspective.
In Britain, trainee teachers were told "brainstorm" is offensive to epileptics. Epileptics, responding to a survey, said they were offended by the notion that they'd be offended.
Meanwhile, all-female Smith College (search) is removing "she" and "her" from its constitution to avoid offending the transgendered.
Lindsay Watson, who recently ended her term as Student Government Association president, said she introduced the initiative as a way to attract a wider range of students to student government.
Watson said she was thinking particularly of students who identify themselves as transgendered, and therefore may be uncomfortable using female pronouns to describe themselves.
"One of the things I spent some time looking into is what is discouraging people from getting involved (in student government)," said Watson. "This was something that screamed really loudly."
So to speak.
