These United States

SouthernN'Proud

SouthernN'Proud

Southern Discomfort
A proclamation from the citizens of the United States of America:

We, the citizens of the 50 United States, do hereby...well, wait a minute now. I don't know about 50...Hawaii is out there in the ocean, floating around, don't touch nothing...sorta out of touch with the rest of us...make that 49 Uni....oh, yeah, there'a Alaska too. That's really part of Canada don't you think? OK, cut them out too.

We the citi....California. Damn, almost forgot them. Do the rest of us really want to be associated with that mess? Let's get rid of them while we're at it. OK, 47 United S...and then ya know, Florida really ain't much more than North Havana. I don't like Castro...less than half the people there speak English anyway, they won't know we dropped 'em...

We the citizens of these 46 United States do hereb...what's that? The loonies up in Seattle are on the phone? Fine, cut 'em loose. Damn tree huggin' sons of...45 United St...yeah, that does kinda leave Oregon out in the cold, don't it? Makes a nice even border to defend if we need to if Oregon is gone...

We the citizens of these 44 Un...now that ya mention it, both Wyoming and Colorado look alike on a map. I can't tell 'em apart unless it's labelled. And Arizona ain't got nobody in it under 80, does it?

We the citizens of these 41 Unit...whaddaya mean the Mormons are calling? They want to have 55 wives, so be it, but they ain't gettin in if they do. These 40 United States do h...No way. Not the tater farmers. Idaho is useless without potatoes. They what? Want a special tax break? Screw 'em.

The citizens of the 39 Uni....come to think, shouldn't Carolina be just one state? Why do we have a North and a South? Make it 38...no, 37 there's the Dakotas too.

...of these 37 United Sta...Son of a...what is it now? Montana says they feel isolated and alone now? What comes out of Montana anyway? Huh? that's it? To hell with 'em.

36 United States do hereby declare and...what's that? Texas has always had a right to be a sovereign nation if they choose? It's in their constitution? OK, mark 'em off, and tell Mexico they can have the new part too.

Citizens of these 34 Un...oh for the love of...the cajuns are at it again? They don't feel included in the new order? Well guess what...they won't be. Oh, they want all the land they purchased too? What's that take us down to? Oh, and West Virginia wants to be its own country now? Hell, looking around the place I thought they already were. Plus, we all know Rhode Island ain't really nothing more than a county anyway. Flip Vermont upside down and over and it's New Hampshire, what's up with that? Maine ain't never done nothing except give us Stephen King, they can take a hike too.

We the citizens of these...good lord, now what? Hillary's on the phone? She can have it...apples rot anyway. Connecticut and Massachusetts have merged? Screw 'em both, too hard to spell. Pennsylvania too, we want short names here so the kids...yeah, Mississippi too...I know it's a cute little song, but damn!

We the citizens of these...now what? Delaware's a state? I didn't know...the first state even? I be damned...well, if ya gotta go, ya gotta...no, Maryland can't have their senators! Tell them to take a hike! Jay-zus!

So that leaves us, what...Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, part of Virginia that knows it really ain't Maryland in the first place, and Alabama. And Alabama is seceding?



Never mind that proclamation. Hell, we're surrounded!
 
Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, part of Virginia...

Why the hell not. If it came to pass we would end up as something like the 4th largest nuclear power on the planet since we would have all of the nuke subs coming out of Kings Bay. We also have the Ranger school and god knows what else. We farm, nave nuclear power plants and the vast chunk of the TVA.
 
unclehobart said:
Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, part of Virginia...

Why the hell not. If it came to pass we would end up as something like the 4th largest nuclear power on the planet since we would have all of the nuke subs coming out of Kings Bay. We also have the Ranger school and god knows what else. We farm, nave nuclear power plants and the vast chunk of the TVA.
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You've also got James Earl Carter. :D
 
Gato_Solo said:
You've also got James Earl Carter. :D
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I thought Jimmy was down in Nicaragua hugging dictators ... or building houses somewhere over there *makes a waving motion towards the midwest*.
 
unclehobart said:
I thought Jimmy was down in Nicaragua hugging dictators ... or building houses somewhere over there *makes a waving motion towards the midwest*.
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Alright...Billy, then...*mumble, mumble

*Always making me bring out the 'big' guns
 
Billybeer.jpg
 
unclehobart said:
Billy died like 20 years ago.
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I waited a good 2 hours for this yesterday...and I had a poignant, timely, and witty response, but you just had to wait til I logged off for the day... :p


Oh, well. Better late than never...


But he's still in Georgia, isn't he? :lol2:
 
I suppose hes still in Plains, GA ... but then everywhere has some form of regrettable persona... like Jimmy.... er,.. I mean Billy.
 
unclehobart said:
Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, part of Virginia...

Why the hell not. If it came to pass we would end up as something like the 4th largest nuclear power on the planet since we would have all of the nuke subs coming out of Kings Bay. We also have the Ranger school and god knows what else. We farm, nave nuclear power plants and the vast chunk of the TVA.
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And Oak Ridge, can't forget about that. Nukes galore there.

Right up the road apiece from here we have Holston Ordinance, which is one of the leading ammunition manufacturers for the military. There's enough stuff burried in the surrounding woods to blow up half the planet. Every so often, a deer wanders through the fence and gets airborne right quick. We got Eastman Kodak for the chemicals too...all right here in the hills. I think we could defend ourselves nicely.

I'm starin' to like this plan better and better all the time. But do we have to keep Nashville? :D
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
I'm starin' to like this plan better and better all the time. But do we have to keep Nashville? :D
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Hey...you're the folks who enshrined Elvis, so, yes, better you than the rest of us.
 
Gato_Solo said:
Hey...you're the folks who enshrined Elvis, so, yes, better you than the rest of us.
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That's Memphis, dude.

We wanna lose that too if possible...in fact, everything west of Knoxville (including Knoxville) can begone as far as I care. :evilcool:
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
That's Memphis, dude.

We wanna lose that too if possible...in fact, everything west of Knoxville (including Knoxville) can begone as far as I care. :evilcool:
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:blush: This is awkward...:blush:

BTW...Memphis has to remain for 2 reasons.

1. The Blues.
2. Barbecue.

Can't have southern without those 2 main ingredients. :grinno:
 
Gato_Solo said:
Memphis has to remain for 2 reasons.

1. The Blues.
2. Barbecue.

Can't have southern without those 2 main ingredients. :grinno:
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1. I got some Muddy Waters and B. B. King CDs.
2. I can cook all the BBQ you want.
 
bah! Come on down to Atlanta. I'll take you to the bbq joints on Auburn Ave. Then you can decide where the real barbecue is.
 
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