this f***ing sucks

Luis G

Luis G

<i><b>Problemator</b></i>
Staff member
After thinking and thinking about it over and over again, my heart is starting to tell me that sooner or later i'll have to let my girl go. :(

We both finished our careers (she's biochemistry engineer) last semester, and it is most likely that we end up getting jobs in different cities, probably they will be near, but that's not something i'm holding up to.

If we add all this to the fact that most jobs don't pay good, and they ask A LOT of experience in very very SPECIFIC subjects, it just gets worse. How am i gonna get the damn experience if everybody wants experienced people? :grumpy:

I don't want her to sacrifice her opportunities for me, i know i would but i also know that i shouldn't do it. :(

I need some of your thoughts.
 
you guys know what it feels to lose some of your dreams?

I really love her, she's the best thing that has happened to me, she's my dream come true, we are just great. Our problems doesn't seem to be problems at all, they are just things that makes our relationship stronger.

And now this, damn.

* needs some help desperately
 
If it's really love so strong, I imagine it can find a way to work itself out. :D Remember - don't worry quite too much about what might come when it hasn't come yet. ;) Or something like that. Maybe sitting down and being forthright about your concerns with her will help.
 
have you spoken with her about it luis? see how she feels. im sure she doesnt want you to give up any opportunities for her but remember you mgiht regret it. i cant offer much but friendship and support. no matter what you choose well all stand by you. none of us can make a decision for you luis. we can only support you. wishing you and her the best.
 
I've spoken with her about it, we end up deciding that we shouldn't worry about things that hasn't happened yet. That day i told her that i'm willing to let her go if that's what it takes for her to accomplish her expectations. She also knows and fears what might happen, i know this for a fact 'cause she started to cry and just said "this is so sad".

The one thing she doesn't know is how i'm feeling right now, nor that this thing is depressing me.
 
let her know. and i know how stupid this will sound but maybe you guys can plan to try to get a job in the same area or with the same company. good luck.
 
Show her this thread. No one said love was easy. It all depends on how much you are willing to give up for it and how are the rewards worth to you. You win and you lose and at the end of the day even after losing a lot your love is in your arms sitting with you.......losing doesn't seem so bad doesn it.
 
I'm sure you'll find a way out. Even if you split for a time there is no reason your love can't win one more obstacle. Don't let her slip without trying. I wouldn't. ;)
 
Hell my bird lives in a different country.

You shouldn't let her go cos of the distance thing. Different cities isn't anything to worry about, I have to get on a 1hr plane journey to see my girlfriend.

We lived together from January to June of this year, now she's back in the South of France and I'm back in the South of England. We've got 1 more year of uni left each - her being in France, me in England, I guess if we're still together by the end of this year, which I really hope so, then one of us will likely move (note. I can't speak French :p).

So far things have been going well, although I miss her like hell, gonna see her next week - been just over a month since I saw her last.

If it's a relationship you want to stay in - in my case I love her to bits, then stay with her, and just commute, eventually you'll find a way of being together. If you don't really, deep down, want to be in the relationship, then this is your way out.

It was fucking hard when I said goodbye to her last month, but we've spoken over half an hour everyday, and been txting, etc. Knowing that I'm gonna see her again soon made it so much easier.

If you really do love her, and have some serious long term plans, go for it, it'll work if you both want it to. If you're not sure, then go with it anyway, it's likely it'll just fizzle out.

Whatever you choose, good luck Luis.:headbang:
 
oh, 'nuther nail in the coffin for me, is that I'm hoping to go into Network Consultancy at some point with a Computer Science degree. She's wants to teach English with an English degree. She lives in a tiny French village where barely any of the population has the Internet :rolleyes:.

Guess I could work on a farm for a bit...

To be honest, I don't care what job I get after uni, should really be a well paid computer related job if I get a decent grade, but I'm not fussed as long as I have enough money coming in, and that I can start a career with my degree at some point before I'm 30.
 
Luis G said:
I've spoken with her about it, we end up deciding that we shouldn't worry about things that hasn't happened yet. That day i told her that i'm willing to let her go if that's what it takes for her to accomplish her expectations. She also knows and fears what might happen, i know this for a fact 'cause she started to cry and just said "this is so sad".

The one thing she doesn't know is how i'm feeling right now, nor that this thing is depressing me.
Click to expand...

P.P.S. (sorry!) This is EXACTLY how I/we felt a couple of months ago.
 
I moved 2000 miles away from my home for someone who I thought I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. After being together for about 6 months, it didn't work out and we broke up. I vowed I would never move my life like that again unless I had invested a shitload of time (more than just a year) to be absolutely sure once that newness and infatuation wears off that we are still the same couple.

But...

My life and Rusty's life are one in the same. He goes, I go. There's no question, our decisions are made together. I would have said the same thing to you the month I met him. We just knew, there's no other way I can describe it.

So you see, it can easily go both ways. It all depends on each of you individually and together. There's no easy answer, you have to balance your heads and your hearts and come up with a solution.

If you honestly believe your relationship is strong enough to withstand time and distance, I don't know why you couldn't try to make it work. But you've had it easy so far. That will be tougher than you think.

Bueno suerto, amigo. :)
 
Squiggy, yeah, that's a thought that constantly comes to my mind, seems that in my current mood i can't find a solution.

CS, thanks for sharing your story :), seems like distance loves are more common than what i thought.

gf, i don't think we have many "newness" as we've been friends since 1999/2k, there was never the "pretending i'm cool so you want to date me". I believe we are strong enough to withstand the distance, thou i don't know about me i know it would be a living hell for me. Not that i'm not willing to go through that but i know how it will be for me.

I'd really like that we could find something for both of us in the same city, but as i see it, the situation over here is not that good, especially if you just finished your career, that's why we might end up having "the jobs we want but in different locations", or we might end up having "acceptable jobs being together".

I'm starting to fear the future.
 
I pm'd you, CS, but thought I'd answer here in case anyone mistakes my av for ... someone else. It's "Piper" from Charmed in a Season Three episode "Coyote Piper". :D
 
luis im jsut goign to say it this way. i know how much she means to you and i truly hope this wont hurt you or anything but if its true love and shes the one then itll find a way. it always does when its destined. thats what true love is. i hope it works out for you. good luck luis. were all supporting you on this(except maybe whoreable who loves gas and ass)
 
yeah, i know what you mean freako, and i hear those words inside my head when i think there's something "not right", it always turns out good.

About the situation, i spoke to her yesterday, and we ended up having a sort of agreement, but i'm not going to discuss this again until my mood changes, i've been kinda depressed for about 1 week, you know my aunt, then my grandpa, this kind of things really mess with my feelings and by now i don't want to load my mind with situations that might not even come to realize ever.
 
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