This is interesting...

Gato_Solo

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
Again...no comment. Just read.

One of the most significant battles in the 2002 gender wars was the role and rights of fathers -- especially when families have been ruptured by divorce.
Click to expand...


Source...
 
I fought that fight when I divorced. (1985) I ended up with custody of my 3 children who were 6,5,and 3...It was a tuff fight for a man then. The courts bent every way they could to lean in her favor and if she hadn't accidently revealed her true colors, I would surely have lost. Needless to say, there was no support ordered in the settlement....It felt like the court was saying "just be happy you won"... Its such an empty feeling when you find yourself in a position where total strangers have more say over the future of your children than you do....Even in winning, I came away fearful of power our government holds over us.
 
The situation isn't much better over here, though I'm not sure what sums of money are involved but the social services inteference in family life is certainly there.

I'm in a position at the moment where I have had to sign papers agreeing not to allow my ex to see my daughter unsupervised.

Certain accusations were made against him of a sexual nature (not by me) and investigated by the police who found no case to answer. However, social services still became involved and I was required to sign that undertaking, which while it states that it is not legally binding also states that it can be used against me in a court of law. The implication being co-operate or else!

Naturally my ex has seen a solicitor because he thought it was me being awkward (which since he has always had free access to Katie since we split is nonsense), and relations were frosty between us until the solicitor confirmed my story. My ex has of course vowed to challenge them on this as they don't appear to have any legal right to impose these conditions.

This puts enormous pressure on me as it means I don't now get a break from caring for her whereas before I knew I could count on at least a couple of nights a month.
 
Quite a frustrating situation, Aunty. It sounds much worse than what I went through.... It seems, as soon as you enter a custody dispute, you live in an eternal catch-22. I was told, if I continued to work, my abscence would be held against me. If I stopped working, I wouldn't be financially supportive, and that would be used against me....But the same things would not be held against a mother in a custody dispute... :confuse3:
 
The courts are still very biased towards the mother, but personally I have met many parents whom I consider don't have the best interests of their children at heart, be they mum or dad.
 
That was a large part of my dilema, Aunty. Her motivation was strickly to extract child support from me. And it was her boyfriend instigating the whole mess. We had previously reached a very amicable agreement of joint custody that would have left the children at home and not uprooted. He, however, was paying child support to an ex for one child and saw this as an opportunity to make money. It was a mess...
 
There's a lot of people who use their kids like that. It's the kids I feel sorry for caught up in that sort of mess. That's why I resolved it would never happen to Katie no matter how I felt, and in the beginning I was very angry because it wasn't me who broke up the marriage.
 
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