Though it pains me...

chcr

chcr

Too cute for words
I have to ask for advice. Maybe just support. I don't really talk much about my current personal life with anyone, but I'm a little at a loss. My son just divorced his wife. They have an eight year old daughter. She had a baby by another guy, and has HIV (which he does not). She was living here (he's stationed in Japan, Air Force). This week when we called to see if we could get Tebria (granddaughter) for the weekend, we were in formed that they are moving to Delaware Sunday morning at 3AM (they used to be stationed there). We had Tebria last night and most of today, I don't think she knows what is going on. Chalana (the bitch) is one of those people that lies constantly and doesn't even try to keep them straight. When we took Tebria home this evening, I heard Chalana tell her cousin who was helping her load the Ryder truck that they were going to Brooklyn. My son's attorney suggested he let her go (more fuel for the fire when he sues for sole custody). I have the license number of the Ryder truck and the car trailed, plus her TN license plate. Anyone have any ideas about how I can use this info to find out where they really go? I'm really worried about my granddaughter, I just don't trust the woman. I can't do anything to staop it, but I'm afraid it's going to go to hell for Chalana (she doesn't take her medicine, what happens when she converts), and that we won't have any way to rescue Tebria. Chalana and Arren currently have joint custody, and she's required to give him thirty days motice that she's moving Tebria. The only way he knows anything about it is from us, she hasn't talked to him at all, and clearly has told Tebria not to tell him or us.

I won't mention my first reaction, in case it becomes necessary.

:confused:
 
Unless your state has grandparents rights, you're screwed.

Your son would have to file a complaint about the 30 dyas notice thing, most likely through the courts. Since he's out of the country, that's a huge problem.

You might be able to file a restraining order against her leaving but as of right now, it may be too late.

We won't discuss the illegal ways to put a stop to this.

Good luck.
 
I don't think we want to stop it, Gonz. It's kind of like giving her enough rope to hang herself. I just want to know where she really goes. Dover? Brooklyn? Somewhere else? I know she thinks New York has more liberal welfare laws (I think that may have changed some) so I'm guessing Brooklyn. I just want to know for certain.
 
I really don't have any good advice, I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you. What a horrible situation! I hope that everything works out soon and for the best! :hug:
 
im sorry to hear that chcr. i hope your son is allright. you could try talking to an attorney yourself or also talking to your sons. your sons lawyer tho who said let her go to me made a huge mistake. he cared more about the courtroom than the daughter which is pathetic. as gonz said you can try to get a restraining order on her. again hoping for teh best here mate
 
Can't your son just sue her right now?
Adultery and HIV should be enough for him to get a divorce and most likely the custody of the child, once on his custody he can leave the girl to your caring.

Well, just a thought.
 
He got the divorce, but the courts here almost always give custody to the mother. He won't leave her in our care, he wants to take care of her himself. The real problem is that she so obviously cares for no one but herself. She didn't even tell the doctors here that she had HIV until she was about to give birth to the new baby.
your sons lawyer tho who said let her go to me made a huge mistake. he cared more about the courtroom than the daughter which is pathetic.
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I agree, freako but it isn't my call. Besides, it proves that she has no regard for the divorce agreement, so I'm not sure it's entirely a bad thing. I really just want to find out where they really went.
 
chcr said:
He got the divorce, but the courts here almost always give custody to the mother. He won't leave her in our care, he wants to take care of her himself. The real problem is that she so obviously cares for no one but herself. She didn't even tell the doctors here that she had HIV until she was about to give birth to the new baby.

I agree, freako but it isn't my call. Besides, it proves that she has no regard for the divorce agreement, so I'm not sure it's entirely a bad thing. I really just want to find out where they really went.
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i didnt see that side to it chcr but i do worry about the child since his mother isnt suit to be a mother. i hope the child will be allright. i know its not your call but this is family so you should have more of a say though i hate to say it this way chcr so please dont think ill of me for this: its your sons call more than yours as well as hers only cause it is her daughter. good luck chcr. hope i didnt offend by my last statement
 
chcr said:
He got the divorce, but the courts here almost always give custody to the mother. He won't leave her in our care, he wants to take care of her himself. The real problem is that she so obviously cares for no one but herself. She didn't even tell the doctors here that she had HIV until she was about to give birth to the new baby.

I agree, freako but it isn't my call. Besides, it proves that she has no regard for the divorce agreement, so I'm not sure it's entirely a bad thing. I really just want to find out where they really went.
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That isn't always the case, Chic, the courts are getting better and better about looking at the home each would provide, and which parent would be more likely to allow the other parent visitation. Your son really needs to file the paperwork though, I'm afraid. I'd get him on the phone and get an attorney going on this pronto. Her moving without notice alone could be enough for a good judge to change some custody.


As for finding out where they went, have you called Ryder? Get someone from the office on the phone and give the speil, you may find a sympathetic ear and at least find out where the truck got returned to.
 
As for finding out where they went, have you called Ryder? Get someone from the office on the phone and give the speil, you may find a sympathetic ear and at least find out where the truck got returned to.
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Thought I'd give that a try tomorrow. As to the custody thing, he's in the Air Force, stationed in Japan. The judge as much as told him he didn't see how he would care for a child under the circumstances. As you say, this little episode may change things some. His lawyer is working on it, and he does send her child support, so it shouldn't be too hard to find them, I just worry about my granddaughter because the bitch has no sense of responsibility.
 
Have you looked into suing for custody yourselfs, i've heard of a number of cases here where it was done by grandparents succsessfully.

Or at least call child welfare services on the mother is she is that unfit. If your sone is out of town, chances are they will ship the child to you before entering her into the foster program.

As a last resort, there are orginazations who offer other options
 
If he can't provide a stable home (I'm sure he is nice, but with teh japan thing....)

maybe take it out of his hands as well, it's in your rights
 
chcr said:
We suggested that to my son, he says no.
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chcr i know you love and respect your son. so i hope you wont be mad about this nor be offended by it. but it is for the best for the child. dont get me wrong he did say no and that is to be respected but think of the child and her safety. i probably sound like one of those OH WONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN assholes but i am concerned because of her mother not being fit to be a mother and your son is in Japan so theres not much he can do unless hes coming home. chic im sorry if i offended you but id hate to hear a story of how she gets neglected ot worse.
 
chcr, if you had to choose between letting the child to live with her mother and the child living with you, what would you choose then?

Now, if you could make your son understand this, it would be far easier for everybody.
 
Gonz said:
Unless your state has grandparents rights, you're screwed.

Your son would have to file a complaint about the 30 dyas notice thing, most likely through the courts. Since he's out of the country, that's a huge problem.

You might be able to file a restraining order against her leaving but as of right now, it may be too late.

We won't discuss the illegal ways to put a stop to this.

Good luck.
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Soldiers, Sailors and Airmans act would suffice to end that 30 day crap. No civil trials, etc, until the military member is "permanently" back in the US. That means, whe you tell your son, she can be "forced" to return to the area until he returns. If she leaves no forwarding address, all you have to do is have your son call the FBI. Her not leaving a forwarding address that's actual is called kidnapping.
 
Actually, she can be forced to return, Gato. Part of the divorce agreement, all legally filed, etc. Arren's shyster advises against it. I think he's giving her enough rope to hang herself, then Arren will be able to get full custody. I just worry that they're thinking too much about the big picture, and not enough about the child, you know?
 
chcr said:
I have to ask for advice. Maybe just support. I don't really talk much about my current personal life with anyone, but I'm a little at a loss. My son just divorced his wife. They have an eight year old daughter. She had a baby by another guy, and has HIV (which he does not). She was living here (he's stationed in Japan, Air Force). This week when we called to see if we could get Tebria (granddaughter) for the weekend, we were in formed that they are moving to Delaware Sunday morning at 3AM (they used to be stationed there). We had Tebria last night and most of today, I don't think she knows what is going on. Chalana (the bitch) is one of those people that lies constantly and doesn't even try to keep them straight. When we took Tebria home this evening, I heard Chalana tell her cousin who was helping her load the Ryder truck that they were going to Brooklyn. My son's attorney suggested he let her go (more fuel for the fire when he sues for sole custody). I have the license number of the Ryder truck and the car trailed, plus her TN license plate. Anyone have any ideas about how I can use this info to find out where they really go? I'm really worried about my granddaughter, I just don't trust the woman. I can't do anything to staop it, but I'm afraid it's going to go to hell for Chalana (she doesn't take her medicine, what happens when she converts), and that we won't have any way to rescue Tebria. Chalana and Arren currently have joint custody, and she's required to give him thirty days motice that she's moving Tebria. The only way he knows anything about it is from us, she hasn't talked to him at all, and clearly has told Tebria not to tell him or us.

I won't mention my first reaction, in case it becomes necessary.

:confused:
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about this and not sure what for you to do-kinda in situation myself with hubby/soon hopefully to be X, that was not taking his meds.(cancer-huntington's korea) and I just got Full custody of my boys, i'll say some prayers for you and hope for the best, wish I had an answer for you.
 
If it were me I would document, photograph, write down, voice record every shred of evidence I could get against her.

Id hire an attorney myself (in addition to the sons attorney).

Id also hire a private investigator to amass even more information about her activities (as well as the address where she went).

Then Id take the evidence both to child protective services and the courts.

If that fails at least you gave it your best shot. Then its time to take all of the evidense and the verdict of the court and lack of action on the part of child protective services to the local and syndicated news channels to see if they are intrested in exposing the story for added pressure to force the courts hand.
 
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