Top Ten Punchlines To Dirty Election Jokes

[markjs]

10. "With a poll like that, I'm suprised he can gallup at all."

9. "She starts chanting, 'four more minutes! four more minutes!'"

8. "That's not the voting lever, but don't stop pulling."

7. "This isn't how it looks--I'm just joining a third party."

6. I prefer Bush, but I don't know who I'll vote for."

5. "So that's where Katherine Harris was hiding the Al Gore votes."

4. "Unfortunately, his margin of error was plus or minus three inches."

3. "Get used to it, honey--we live in a swing state."

2. "I thought you had trouble maintaining an election."

1. "I saw your sister with Mary Cheney--there was no sign of Dick."

I couldn't even stay away all night.....LOL but I thought maybe someone would enjoy theses. I will post tonights top ten list as soon as I get it.

 

[markjs]

Top Ten John Kerry Excuses


10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.

9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.

8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.

6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.

4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.

3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.

1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.

 

[Inkara1]

/me figures this thread will soon be moved from the RW forum

 

[PT]

Glad to see you're back, and with a sense of humor even...

 

[markjs]

Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Celebrated His Reelection


10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.

9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.

8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.

7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.

6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.

5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.

4. You know, the usual--watching wrasslin' and eating yodels.

3. Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid.

2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.

1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.