The story goes like this:
When I became pregnant for the first time, my sister-in-law was already heavily pregnant with her first child. Unfortunately I lost the pregnancy and both myself and my hubby were totally devastated by our loss. His sister rings less than a week after our loss wanting to know if she and her husband could come around and socialise! I told hubby 'no @#%$ way!' like she actually thought it would be OK to come around and stick her big, fat, pregnant belly in my face after we had just lost ours? I didn't say anything to her about her insensitivity but just tried to cope with things in my own way. She gave birth to a beautiful little girl a month after we lost our baby and it hurt like hell for us but we hid our pain and bought presents for the baby and went to see them in hospital. While we were visiting, my sister-in-law starts telling me about friends of theirs who carried their baby to term then the baby died at birth and I am thinking 'what are you telling me this for? Are you trying to tell me that our pain is not as bad because we didn't give birth before our baby died?' but again I said nothing and swallowed my pain.
Now it has been two weeks since we lost our second pregnancy and the pain is horrendous. I emailed my hubby's relatives to tell them of our loss. The week we lost our second pregnancy, we get a card in the mail from the sister-in-law saying 'sorry for your loss' and guess what she put in with it? @#%$ BABY PHOTOS!! I was so hurt I could take it no longer and sent her a letter basically saying how she had made our grief so much worse by doing such an insensitive thing at such a time. She sends a letter back playing the victim, saying that I am trying to make her feel guilty for having a baby and that she thought we would appreciate the photos of our niece and that she was just trying to make us feel like part of the family by sending the photos along with the condolence card. I nearly exploded! I emailed her back saying that if this is how she treats family then I don't want to be part of it and told her not to contact me anymore because I can do without her kind of compassion. Hubby told me that what I did was wrong and I can't believe that he is siding with his sister in this - I mean a person can only take so much @#%$ before it all gets too much and something must be said.
Why am I suddenly the bitch in all this when I am the one who has been hurt over and over by my husbands pathetically self-involved sister?
