chcr
Too cute for words
In the increasingly odd, synchronicity riddled existence that my life has suddenly become (see the shoutbox), I just got this in my e-mail.
Welcome To Phoenix!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "fe - niks."
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules...the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes
next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Phoenix it is required that you know where
Central and Washington is ... which is the
Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
are the same road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving
a bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks,
dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other
cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on
any of these items.
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
10. The minimum acceptable speed on "all freeways, I-10, I-17 &U.S.60
(see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
This is Arizona's version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (It may be a hazard to your health).
12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ...
you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
14. If it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
Again we say, WELCOME TO PHOENIX, ARIZONA. Enjoy your stay. ^_^
Welcome To Phoenix!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "fe - niks."
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules...the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes
next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Phoenix it is required that you know where
Central and Washington is ... which is the
Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
are the same road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving
a bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks,
dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other
cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on
any of these items.
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
10. The minimum acceptable speed on "all freeways, I-10, I-17 &U.S.60
(see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
This is Arizona's version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (It may be a hazard to your health).
12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ...
you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
14. If it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
Again we say, WELCOME TO PHOENIX, ARIZONA. Enjoy your stay. ^_^
