tonksy
New Member
just got this in an email...snappy comebacks 
>
>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
>ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
>Without missing a beat she said Sir I need to see your ticket,
>not your stub."
>
>Snappy Answer #2
>
>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
>store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
>She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
>The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>
>Snappy Answer #3
>
>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
>speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you
>all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
>his way without a ticket.
>
>Snappy Answer #4
>
>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
>comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows
>it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
>the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
>car comes up.
>The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck
>driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
>ran out of gas."
>
>and finally #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being
>here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
>personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family
>but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
>asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
>from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
>The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and
>snickering.
>When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically
>at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I
>guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
_________________________________________________________________
>
>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
>ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
>Without missing a beat she said Sir I need to see your ticket,
>not your stub."
>
>Snappy Answer #2
>
>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
>store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
>She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
>The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>
>Snappy Answer #3
>
>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
>speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you
>all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
>his way without a ticket.
>
>Snappy Answer #4
>
>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
>comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows
>it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
>the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police
>car comes up.
>The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck
>driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
>ran out of gas."
>
>and finally #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being
>here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious
>personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family
>but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
>asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
>from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
>The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and
>snickering.
>When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically
>at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I
>guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
_________________________________________________________________
I'll give you some karma after spreading it a round a bit..
gosh ya'll, i was just passing it on......but the one about the turkeys just tickles me.