Zappa Ghost

"Don't get the wet stuff on you".
Is that such a bad statement- that it has to have a Gov. censor?
Back in the 1970's, we had this class called "Sex Ed"
Mrs. Nichols told us all about sex.
We were farm kids and already knew the mechanics,
but she clued us in on the dangers of STD's
how you can protect yourself from them,
and how to avoid unwanted offspring
(She was Catholic, but told us the facts of prophylactics)
Here's a big salute to Mrs. Nichols for giving the info that we
needed at a crucial time!

You see, our folks do their best- my Daddy tried to have "the talk" with me, but he was so embarrased for some reason, he just mumbled something about "always use a rubber"- and my Mom was so Puritan she couldn't even talk about it. It's amazing that we procreate at all, what with the religious guilt that is attached to it.
Sex ain't dirty- but we recovering Baptists tend to make it too Holy/Sacred : there's a problem there as well.
 
-where they stole the margarine!
She was totally chenille
(whatever that means)
and her Old Man was a Marine
:gun6:
 
GrandCaravanSE said:
Watch out were the huskeys go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Click to expand...

...Whereupon I proceeded to take that mitten full
of the deadly yellow snow crystals
and rub it all into his beady
little eyes
with a vigoruos circular motion
hitherto unknown to the people
of this area...
 
but destined to take the place
of the mud-shark in your mythology
or is it icthyology?
here it goes, now-
RUB IT !!!
 
The mystery man came over
And he said "I'm outta sight!"
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me

But I said "Look here brother
who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"

The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Aphrodite, and the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said "You might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your asthma too"

And I said "Look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"
*(Don't waste your time)*

"I've got troubles of my own", I said
"And you can't help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!"
"But I got the crystal ball", he said
And held it to the ligh
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said "The price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!"

And I said "Look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don't waste your time on me"
Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me
*(Shante)*
Click to expand...

My Favorite song.
 
If you haven't already,
you have got to check out
Zappa Plays Zappa
Dweezil and a bunch of great musicians
Saw 'em at the 'Roo and they freakin'
ROCKED!
 
some dick made off with my copy of frank's autobiography and never returned it. too bad. it's nice every once in a while to re-read the stuff about wild bill the mannequin fucker.
 
Bought a Zappa Plays Zappa CD at Bonnaroo- sure you can get the same disc-just go to they cobweb, er website, er whatchamacallit-You know- search da tubes!
 
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