101 ways to dispose of unwanted relatives...

[Aunty Em]

... suggestions please, I have had it with my neice. Shouting abuse at me is one thing, but phoning my mum and being abusive to her on the phone is guaranteed to get you a one way ticket out of my life...

 

[Luis G]

my so beloved neice, we have to talk, i'm going to give you two options, the choice is yours, please think about it carefully

manners or the door.

 

[Leslie]

treat her like a child, give her a zillion rules and conditions...she'll be sure to run from that

 

[Luis G]

Or you can tell what mom says when we argue:

This is my house, and what i say is what is done here, when you have your house you can do whatever you want, but as long as you live here you will abide to my rules.

 

[unclehobart]

A good old fashioned beating may be just what is called for. Kick her out and change the locks.

 

[Aunty Em]

Fortunately she doesn't live with me. I caught her out lying to all and sundry plus the milkmans dog and she didn't like it, so she got abusive.

Happily I wasn't in at the time she rang me and I have the evidence on tape.

 

[HomeLAN]

Keep the tape. Let her know you're keeping the tape. Tell her that if she doesn't mind her fucking P and Q's, you'll share the tape with everyone whose opinions she gives a crap about.

 

[greenfreak]

How about just hanging up on her and then shutting the machine and the ringer off? Once she gets the idea no one gives a shit, she might stop calling.

How about just sending her this? :

 

[unclehobart]

Do you have a number block service on your phone system? How about notifying the constabulary that she is borderline stalking and family abuse candidate?

 

[Aunty Em]

We don't have a number block service over here, and she'd have to do a lot more to get the police involved, but she seems to have tired of that fro the moment anyway. I'm just wondering what nasty little stunt she's going to pull next.

Basically I let my mum know that she was being taken for a ride by my neice, so as her gravy train has evaporated she's vindictive enough to do anything... just like her absent father.

 

[Gonz]

101 ways to dispose of unwanted relatives...

102

 

[unclehobart]

In the UK? ... Not bloody likely.

It would be more like an axe handle or pointy stick.

 

[AlladinSane]

I'm still waiting for some holy recipe...

 

[Professur]

That's not exactly true, Unc. There are still a few nice pieces to be had, if for a price. But I prefer the 2x4 method myself. Gives them a change to see the error of their ways. 10 minutes in the Legion and you'll have more than a few willing employees. Or witnesses.

FYI, calling the cops on someone in Britain isn't the same as in America. You guys call the cops for loud noises, fer crying out loud. Over there, if you didn't see blood, you don't call.

 

[unclehobart]

Thats just COPS and other crappola inner city TV. In the burbs, we wait for blood. Out in the country, they just call the morgue.

 

[Gato_Solo]

Have you ever tried blowing a pea-whistle into the phone? How about banging the mouthpiece with a spoon? Those two are loads of laughs at a party.

 

[Aunty Em]

In the UK? ... Not bloody likely. It would be more like an axe handle or pointy stick.

I prefer more subtle means... a little aminata muscara in the wild mushrooms for instance... accidental, innit?

Thats just COPS and other crappola inner city TV. In the burbs, we wait for blood. Out in the country, they just call the morgue.

It isn't fair! You guys have a lot more country to hide the shallow grave in...

Anyway, it would be foolish to do that now because if she disappeared the cops would be round banging on my door as so many people know there is bad blood between us. Much better to wait until you've made up and everything seems ok... then you top the little b*****d at leisure!

Of course you shouldn't leave this sort of evidence around on the internet either....

 

[Gato_Solo]

Guess you didn't like my ideas, eh Aunty?

 

[chcr]

It isn't fair! You guys have a lot more country to hide the shallow grave in...

Please note: A shallow grave is always a mistake.

 

[Aunty Em]

It's been quiet since Friday... she's probably planning some sort of revenge since all her scheming has backfired. She needn't think she can come crawling back into my life later on either because I'm just not interested... there are some things I just don't forgive... she made her own bed, let her lie in it.

Now I shall forget about it and get on with my own life, I've got more important things to do than worry about a 17 yo who can't take responsibility for her own actions and whines that it's everybody elses fault. If she was giving my sister half the sort of abuse she gave me I now understand why my sister threw her out.

In fact I'm taking a step back from all of them, it's time they grew up and started acting like the adults they want to treated as, I'm not their mother and I don't intend to be treated in the way that they treated her.