Beating and hitting your kids???

[IDLEchild]

Do you hit your kids to discipline them or just abuse them physically and mentally for fun? Were you abused as a child or a better term "Disciplined"? According to you what are the Pros and Cons of hitting kids?

 

[peterska2]

Pro's if done correctly is a short sharp reminder that the parent is the boss. they need to have disapline. if you touch a hot stove you burn your hand and so learn, if you run out into the road and don't get knocked down then you wont learn unless you are educated about this and the best way is a spank.

Con's can lead to child abuse and battering and children thinking it is ok to hit each other

I had the occassional spank as a child and i turned out just fine so that isn't a problem at all.

rather prefer people who actually do give the spank after saying that they will if the kid does 'it' again then just keep saying 'if you do that one more time' coz this doesn't show any disapline at all and so they just dont take any notice

 

[tonksy]

my kids have a time out spot. they use it well. i works most of the time, but sometimes IMO kids need an attitude adjustment and only a spanking will work. now, i have small children, so a spanking is a pop on the diapered butt. sometimes they'll get their fingers popped for touching things thay aren't allowed to. it's worked very well for us so far.

 

[Gonz]

Whoop their ass & show 'em who's boss. When the PC police show up, shoot 'em.(the PC police, not the kids-after all, who would you beat then?)

 

[freako104]

ill say no when and if I have kids since my psych courses have said that it is a negative thing to teach the kids and that negative reinforcment as well as certain punishments such as a timeout are more effective and dont teach violence

 

[IDLEchild]

ill say no when and if I have kids since my psych courses have said that it is a negative thing to teach the kids and that negative reinforcment as well as certain punishments such as a timeout are more effective and dont teach violence

How do you account for so many that were spanked as a child or even worse but turned out fine at later ages. Psychology only presents half the story in my poinion but what you posted is quite true.

 

[peterska2]

ill say no when and if I have kids since my psych courses have said that it is a negative thing to teach the kids and that negative reinforcment as well as certain punishments such as a timeout are more effective and dont teach violence

I hafta disagree wif ya der freako.

ya gotta giv um a slap evry now n den to keep tings in check n nto letum ger al cheek n stuf

 

[Gonz]

ill say no when and if I have kids since my psych courses have said that it is a negative thing to teach the kids and that negative reinforcment as well as certain punishments such as a timeout are more effective and dont teach violence

psych courses, negative thing

such as a timeout are more effective

 

[IDLEchild]

Yes, but the problem starts when parents surrogate slapping for taking time out to explain the right and wrong because they are under the impression that they are young and don't understand and don't know better so just warn them off with a slap. So abuse takes over spent time with the kids to explain why what they did was wrong.

Slapping them is time efficient, easy, very asserting of one's status in the family institution and a good conditioner of fear of certain things. Ofcourse the negative consequences can be far more damaging then profits of positive ones.

 

[peterska2]

Yes, but the problem starts when parents surrogate slapping for taking time out to explain the right and wrong because they are under the impression that they are young and don't understand and don't know better so just warn them off with a slap. So abuse takes over spent time with the kids to explain why what they did was wrong.

Slapping them is time efficient, easy, very asserting of one's status in the family institution and a good conditioner of fear of certain things. Ofcourse the negative consequences can be far more damaging then profits of positive ones.

it all boils down to consistancy and understanding. a slong as the ground rules are there and they only get a slap for a severe breach then thats ok. for everything else then a ticking off should suffice

 

[tonksy]

wait! if you hit, spank, slap your kids without talking to them about it later, it ain't gonna work. after my girls get a spank or a hand pop i love 'em a little and tell them what they did wrong and why i hit them. they won't understand if you don't explain why you did it.
you shouldn't slap your kids, my mom did it, always across the face and its just rude.

 

[IDLEchild]

I have found silent treatment to be a lot more effective. Silent treatment is a brutal method of punsihment for any age and any relationship. If the person really does care about you then you impressing silent treatment on them will be utterly painful on them.

 

[peterska2]

wait! if you hit, spank, slap your kids without talking to them about it later, it ain't gonna work. after my girls get a spank or a hand pop i love 'em a little and tell them what they did wrong and why i hit them. they won't understand if you don't explain why you did it.
you shouldn't slap your kids, my mom did it, always across the face and its just rude.

when i was hit it was the belt across the back so thats ok and it was explained later

 

[IDLEchild]

Mother - *slaps kid* "go to your room NOW"
Kid - "I hate you"
Mother - *slaps kid again* "I don't care..GO TO YOUR ROOM"
Kid- "Fine" *runs off crying*

***2hrs later***

Mother - *consoles kid* "Honey i slapped you because i love you, now don't do it again"
Kid - "But you never said what i did wrong before you slapped me and you still haven't told me what i did wrong now"
Mother - "Why you little...you talk back to me "*slaps kid*..."stay in your room you little accident...you little fuck"

 

[tonksy]

Mother - *slaps kid* "go to your room NOW"
Kid - "I hate you"
Mother - *slaps kid again* "I don't care..GO TO YOUR ROOM"
Kid- "Fine" *runs off crying*

***2hrs later***

Mother - *consoles kid* "Honey i slapped you because i love you, now don't do it again"
Kid - "But you never said what i did wrong before you slapped me and you still haven't told me what i did wrong now"
Mother - "Why you little...you talk back to me "*slaps kid*..."stay in your room you little accident...you little fuck"

hmm...not quite what i had in mind, bcd.

 

[Gonz]

Mother - *consoles kid* "Honey i slapped you because i love you, now don't do it again"
Kid - "But you never said what i did wrong before you slapped me and you still haven't told me what i did wrong now"
Mother - "Why you little...you talk back to me "*slaps kid*..."stay in your room you little accident...you little fuck"

What's the problem?

 

[Abuse]

Everyone shouts "Abuse" at me me... I can't think why...

 

[peterska2]

Everyone shouts "Abuse" at me me... I can't think why...

i dunno why either but ABUSE get your arse into the lobby where the welcome committee is waiting

 

[Aunty Em]

No need, I'm already here...

 

[peterska2]

yeah confusin me as normal