Can We truly 'ave Hope for Those We Love, Without Unrealistic Expectations?

[75renegade]

How do ya think its possible to 'ave hope for the ones we love, to say, change for the "better", without placin' unrealistic expectations upon them, to some'ow "ascend" to a mindset, which WE feel, is better for them, an' others.

I think we are often let down, an' unduly disappointed, by folks that we care about, who continually fail to meet our expectations, (for them).

I believe, it is futillity, to somehow, place ourselves in the positions of, "knowers" of what's best for those we love, yet all too often, we do put ourselves in these positions.

Perhaps, nobly thinkin' we do them a "service".

Or perhaps, jus' servin' ourselves, to some'ow think that we 'ave the answer for them, since we're so "far" removed from their places of, "so called" dishonor.

Self included, why do we get disappointed, when the only choice we possess, is the one which is uniquely our own, an' we would 'ave no one else try to "show us the way" the've found, yet we, continue to hold expectations upon others which are not of their makin'??(

 

[IDLEchild]

We are humans..but the real things once you can look past those failed expectations in your partner or a loved one and still care for them truly..that is being truly human. Life has no control over you and sadly enough we have no control over your life...it depends on the loved ones Locus of control - internal or external...those who can pull themselves through sometimes blow our expectations and some amazing ones fail us wholeheartedly.


Keep loving them..that is the best you can do for them because in the midst of all the disappointments....they can use your smiling face not a frowning one.

 

[greenfreak]

I do that most with my co-workers. Over the two years I've been here, I've learned to lower my expectations but in the beginning it was tough. When you have a high work ethic, you will never be happy and always dissapointed if you expect the same from everyone else.

As far as personal relationships go, the only person I have high expectations for is Rusty. I have a family member who routinely dissapoints everyone in our family and from him I've learned to "live and let live". As long as his irresponsibility doesn't affect my life, I let it be. My sisters have a problem with that and are much more critical of him though. I've just found a happy medium between listening to their complaints and not offering my own opinion. I'm finding that's a good way for me to deal with it in all areas of my life; even here at OTC.

But when I'm being directly affected and taken advantage of, that's where I draw the line. Then I can get viscous.