For you, Whoreable.

[PT]

I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.

 

[unclehobart]

someones been nipping at the jack handy bottle ... hmm... who could it be ... could it be [/church lady voice]SATAN?!

 

[PT]

Found a whole page of em. Some of these just crack me up.

http://home.att.net/~doctordialtone/deepthoughts.htm

 

[PT]

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.

 

[PT]

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

 

[Altron]

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

 

[whoreable]

jack handey is a genius. but i have heard them all

 

[whoreable]

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)