MrBishop
Well-Known Member
Aries
Now is the time for adventure. See if you can figure out a way to make "wasting your life" feel like an "adventure."
Taurus Apr. 20 - May 20
Those born under the sign of Taurus thrive on affection. No, that doesn't include your own palm.
Gemini May 21 - Jun. 21
Let your individuality shine. It will make you a more obvious target for snipers.
Cancer Jun. 22 - Jul. 22
Cancers sometimes fall into a rut. Try something new, like bathing more than once a week!
Leo Jul. 23 - Aug. 22
Leo is generous. If you consider giving someone TB "generous."
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Your leadership skills are stronger than usual. So is your breath.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Your occasional indecision can cause you harm. Incidentally, so can slamming a sexual organ in the door of the fridge.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 21
You are very intense, strong willed, and secretive. Bottom line?
Nobody's picking you as the person they'd most like to be stranded
with on a deserted island.
Sagittarius Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
Sagittarius can lack concentration.
Sagittarius can lack concentration.
In fact, it's likely Sagittarius
probably thinks that sentence
only appeared once.
Capricorn Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
Friends applaud your control. Enemies applaud the fact that your tattoo artist is a drunk and terrible speller.
Aquarius Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
Your sign's element is air. It's that stuff you pass and then blame it on the dog.
Pisces Feb. 19 - Mar. 20
Pisces is an excellent host or hostess. That's a neat trick, probably involving Pisces having both the male and female sexual organs.
Now is the time for adventure. See if you can figure out a way to make "wasting your life" feel like an "adventure."
Taurus Apr. 20 - May 20
Those born under the sign of Taurus thrive on affection. No, that doesn't include your own palm.
Gemini May 21 - Jun. 21
Let your individuality shine. It will make you a more obvious target for snipers.
Cancer Jun. 22 - Jul. 22
Cancers sometimes fall into a rut. Try something new, like bathing more than once a week!
Leo Jul. 23 - Aug. 22
Leo is generous. If you consider giving someone TB "generous."
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Your leadership skills are stronger than usual. So is your breath.
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Your occasional indecision can cause you harm. Incidentally, so can slamming a sexual organ in the door of the fridge.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 21
You are very intense, strong willed, and secretive. Bottom line?
Nobody's picking you as the person they'd most like to be stranded
with on a deserted island.
Sagittarius Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
Sagittarius can lack concentration.
Sagittarius can lack concentration.
In fact, it's likely Sagittarius
probably thinks that sentence
only appeared once.
Capricorn Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
Friends applaud your control. Enemies applaud the fact that your tattoo artist is a drunk and terrible speller.
Aquarius Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
Your sign's element is air. It's that stuff you pass and then blame it on the dog.
Pisces Feb. 19 - Mar. 20
Pisces is an excellent host or hostess. That's a neat trick, probably involving Pisces having both the male and female sexual organs.