Is eLove purer than IRLove ?

[MrBishop]

The internet is becomming a place to meet people. People who you would normally not have had any opportunity to meet, converse with, argue with...or...fall in love with!

The world is getting smaller, and geography just isn't the wall that it used to be. In one day, I can talk with people literally all over the world, and that's just here on OTC. If you include email, I have most of the world in my virtual pocket. I've gotten to know people...some of which I consider good friends, and most of whom, I have never met face-to-face, nor do I think, I ever shall...unless I get rich quickly.

Love - an emotion linked with finding someone who has the same/similar thoughts, feelings, joys, pains, likes and dislikes as you do. IRL, this is linked with that person's looks as well... online, people can exchange photos, video, econference...but it's not the same thing really...so it tends to fall back to people being attracted to each other through their 'selves'...that is...who they are beneath their skins.

If you consider that IRLove is often linked to lust for at least the first 8-10 moths, where sex is something that you do when you're not asleep, and you sleep as little as possible, and that internet love doesn't have such a direct-contact, couldn't it be said that since e-Love isn't muddled with lust that it is a more pure love?

Are internet freindships likewise, more pure?

hmmm???

 

[Leslie]

no...it's all lust and daydreams...there's no reality in it.

 

[tonksy]

hmm...i'd say that one is not purer than the other...it's just different circumstances. either way, there has to be something real involved to make it stand the test of time. in real life, for the most part, what you see is what you get but it is easier to get wrapped up in the physical. online you fill in what you can't see with what you want to see...and you can either be quite pleased ( ) or utterly disappointed when and if you ever met face to face.

 

[Mirlyn]

I'd say internet friends are usually about the same level as people I know in class or work.....not coworkers per se, but people I'd associate with during work or class. I'm not one to consider someone "my best friend" who is online. Too many factors there that can only apply to real-world friends. A few have progressed to meeting in person, but most have not.

The whole internet dating thing doesn't do anything for me. I was hesitant when I tried it, and got burned, so I've yet to find a reason to try again. I just can't find a better example than internet dating to illustrate the saying "you can't judge a book by its cover."

Bitter? Nah.

 

[Kawaii]

Who says love is dirty or impure in the first place?

(eLove sucks... I tried it, man that was wierd.)

 

[MrBishop]

Who says love is dirty or impure in the first place?

(eLove sucks... I tried it, man that was wierd.)

It's not impure...just the level of purity. Let me give you an example. I've met people IRL at events, or through clubs/school etc... that I've instantly lost track of once the comman link is gone. Let's say...we were friends in school, but once we graduated, we didn't have anything in comman anymore. Some people have gone so far beyond that comman link that I'll know them forever.

With IRLove, sometimes, that comman link is lust, and once the lust is over, the couple realizes that they had nothing in comman and the relationship fades and crashes...it's biological really...your body can't keep up with that level of chemical chaos for too long.

 

[Oz]

hmm, you do ask the most innerestin' questions Bish

Well, my last "real" relationship, we met via the 'net......but we only talked for a coupla hours then met up the next day.......so I don't think that counts

As for internet "love" ....... I suppose like most, when I started messing around on the net I eventually got some emails with "I love you" ....... "I can't stand it when you don't email me" etc in them I thought that was a bit off.....the intenet.....tho' fun....is a very sterile environment for me. I can share ideas, sense of humour, empathise with other peoples situations or even feel the occasional stirring of emotions when something I talk about with people strikes home..........but as for love, no.......not as yet and prolly never will ...... deffo made some good friends tho'.....and I'd be lying if I said that there aren't a few folks out there I'm happy to see land in me inbox

Last year, through several mutual friends, I found out that someone on a message board had, in their words, "developed a massive crush on me" ...... this was someone I'd only known through this text based medium.....and she was on the other side of the planet to boot....luckily it soon fizzled out

By the same standard tho'......I actually caught meself feeling emotionally gutted when a good friend lost her internet access...... But nowhere near to the effect that RL love effects ya when it's gone........mebbe I've developed new emotions for this medium!

Over the last year or so (a coupla months prior to joining OTC) I've gone to increasing step to portray meself as much more shallow than I am in RL (or at least that's the plan ) I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of "serious" convo's I've had with people online in that time............ I've learned that the internet is very transient....good friends come and go for many more reasons than in RL........so I try not to make many "real" connections via the keyboard Saves hassle/being pissed off in the long run

So I dunno if internet "love" is more pure......I'm a tough nut to crack love-wise in real life......even harder on here

EDIT: Another thing I'm always curious about.......how much is it possible to get to know someone via the net? I once gave some "good" advice to a friend.....relationship advice, and in my defense I didn't know the bloke very well.......I thought it was good advice.....only to find out later that the bloke in question had been sending piccy's of his genitalia to another friend of mine to say I've been keeping my advice to meself since would be an understatement

 

[Leslie]

With IRLove, sometimes, that comman link is lust, and once the lust is over, the couple realizes that they had nothing in comman and the relationship fades and crashes...

and with eLove, there is far less common ground than that...no shared experiences, no shared meals, no fond memories whatsoever...
just daydreams.

 

[Chibi_JoJo]

Why does it matter about internet love? We all have different opinions. I mean, who knows, you can find the right person for you online, or you might not and just give up on trying. It's not all about lust and daydreaming. Love is love. If you really love the person, you wouldn't just sit there and fantasize of what he/she looks like under the clothes all day and all night. I actually pefer internet relationships, I guess it's because I got sick of the guys hanging all over me and saying crap I didn't want to hear. Like I said, it's everyone's opinion.

 

[Leslie]

I see...daydreams are all about nekkidness eh?

 

[tonksy]

and with eLove, there is far less common ground than that...no shared experiences, no shared meals, no fond memories whatsoever...
just daydreams.

right. so until you take the step to...what's the phrase i'm fishing for? bring it into real life it will never be real. i suppose that's the point, isn't it? for the most part people are looking for something to pass the time, not the real thing...not to say that it can't and doesn't happen (cuz it does ) but mostly it's just an amusement. it's easy to cultivate feelings for individuals online because of the room for fantasy, for painting them the way you would have them be...instead of how they are and like with anything else that is not real it soon withers away.
however, love is a strange thing...it hids in places you would never expect, so i wouldn't jump to any conclusions about where you can and can't find it.

 

[Chibi_JoJo]

No it's not, I just said that for an example. There are ppl out there that thinks just all about that.

 

[Leslie]

right. so until you take the step to...what's the phrase i'm fishing for? bring it into real life it will never be real. i suppose that's the point, isn't it? for the most part people are looking for something to pass the time, not the real thing...not to say that it can't and doesn't happen (cuz it does ) but mostly it's just an amusement. it's easy to cultivate feelings for individuals online because of the room for fantasy, for painting them the way you would have them be...instead of how they are and like with anything else that is not real it soon withers away.
however, love is a strange thing...it hids in places you would never expect, so i wouldn't jump to any conclusions about where you can and can't find it.

at that point it makes the move to an IRL thing though.

I don't think it can't be FOUND on the net...I just don't think it's IT until it's RL...so that's it...until it's RL, it's just hopes and daydreams...with some horny thrown in for good measure.

 

[tonksy]

at that point it makes the move to an IRL thing though.

I don't think it can't be FOUND on the net...I just don't think it's IT until it's RL...so that's it...until it's RL, it's just hopes and daydreams...with some horny thrown in for good measure.

i totally agree.

 

[Leslie]

*should let it be known here that I also have trouble with the IRL reality of love so everything I say here is from my skewed perception*

*bitter*

 

[Squiggy]

I know...

 

[Ms Ann Thrope]

and with eLove, there is far less common ground than that...no shared experiences, no shared meals, no fond memories whatsoever...
just daydreams.

I agree with that, Leslie. However, I've found that real life encounters can be overly focussed on appearances and satisfying simple lust. Chemistry can blind you, just as online fantasies do. Still, in my experience online relationships have to rely on words, communication, exchanging ideas if they want to stay alive. If I'm not being intellectually stimulated or exposed to new ideas, I don't nurture those relationships. Of course real life relationships should also have this level of intercourse, but it's just too easy not to pursue it when all you want is to get into someone's pants.

 

[Squiggy]

I know...

 

[Thulsa Doom]

no...it's all lust and daydreams...there's no reality in it.

then how do you explain us millions who have fallen for someone who we met online? it doesnt take so much being together in real life to FALL in love. it takes meeting to VERIFY your love. But I dont see how you can broadly sweep away any notion of emotional attachment simply because of the medium involved.

 

[freako104]

its no more pure than falling in love IRL