Male / Female Dictionary & Thesaurus

[AlphaTroll]

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car's hood.
Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..........Playing cricket without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male...........Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with
the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...........Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..........Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...........A source of entertainment, self-expression, and male
bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male...........Call it whatever you want just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male...........A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes - in effect an extension of oneself, never to be shared with lesser beings, such as a wife or child.

 

[IDLEchild]

While humorous it horribly generalizes Males and Females.

 

[Gonz]

While humorous it horribly generalizes Males and Females.

Much like daily living

 

[AlphaTroll]

Of course it does, but what the hey, I guess it's just one of those things. Don't think it would be nearly as humorous if they'd said 'approximately 95% of the female population thinks a thingy is anything under a car hood' or whatever. In a way, to me at least generalisations are acceptable in a situation where the intent is to make light of something and not to insult or be derogoratory..........kinda like blonde jokes or even some ethnic / religious jokes. Of course it should be in good taste, because even in humour there could be (and often is) vindictiveness based in prejudgement or social misconceptions.

Mmmm......gosh I'm going off on a tangent here - sorry

 

[Leslie]

Yeah, it's cute but it really lost me at the car hood thing

*moved to Ents*

 

[IDLEchild]

In a way, to me at least generalisations are acceptable in a situation where the intent is to make light of something and not to insult or be derogoratory..........kinda like blonde jokes or even some ethnic / religious jokes.

Good luck walking the fine line between light humor and vindictive spew.

 

[PT]

Good luck walking the fine line between light humor and vindictive spew.

Good luck on that sense of humor, hope it shows up someday.

 

[IDLEchild]

Good luck on that sense of humor, hope it shows up someday.

Hey I laughed...I just wanted to add something worthwhile in the post instead of a smilie.

That comment you quoted was in reply to AT's post.

 

[AlphaTroll]

WORDS WOMEN USE & WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not! Faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

 

[Mare]

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male...........Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with
the boys.

 

[lacemyster]

That's really funny!