more bash

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by chcr, Sep 21, 2004.

  1. chcr

    chcr Too cute for words

    42 or a suffusion of yellow, I'm not sure which.
     
  2. HomeLAN

    HomeLAN New Member

    Trick question. Giraffes are allergic to marzipan.
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. chcr

    chcr Too cute for words

    :lol: How the hell did you know that?
     
  4. HomeLAN

    HomeLAN New Member

    I'm a regular trove of totally fucking useless information.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. chcr

    chcr Too cute for words

    Hey, I can relate.
     
  6. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    Do you guys read trivial pursuit cards for the pleasure? Alone?

    I have. :disgust2:
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. Professur

    Professur Well-Known Member

    And here was me thinking you were the extra strength trove. silly me.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. HomeLAN

    HomeLAN New Member

    Heh. Yep. Things don't get that desperate often, but it has happened.
     
  9. Inkara1

    Inkara1 Well-Known Member

    My mind is full tot he brim of really useless random info. When I spit out something useless and random, you wouldn't believe some of the looks I get... or maybe you would.
     
  10. Professur

    Professur Well-Known Member

    Inky, for a guy who aspires to be a reporter, you really need to pay more attention to your phrasing.
     
  11. Inkara1

    Inkara1 Well-Known Member

    Who's to say the double entendre wasn't intentional? :D
     
  12. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?
    --------------
    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
     
    1 person likes this.
  13. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
    ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
    breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
    charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
    symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
    and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
    the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
     
  14. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    :eek:
     
  15. MrBishop

    MrBishop Well-Known Member

    :rofl:

    mmmm...salty! :D :brush:
     
  16. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    <Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
    <Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
    <Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
    <Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
    <Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
    <Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
    <Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
    <Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
    <Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
    <Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
    <Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
    <Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
    <Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
    <Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
    <Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
    <Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
    <Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
    <Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
    <Goatroper> speculum in each hand
    <Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
    <Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
    <Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
    <kr0nus> omg
    <Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
    <Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
    <Goatroper> I said "Yep."
    <Goatroper> held up the speculums.
    <Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
    <Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
    <Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
    <Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
    <Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
    <Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
    <Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
    <Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some
     
  17. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    <@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
    <@insomnia> cfdisk /dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /dev/hda1 && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo/ && chroot /mnt/gentoo/ && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && scripts/bootsrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
    <@insomnia> that's the first one
     
  18. Professur

    Professur Well-Known Member


    The worst part is, that's not a joke.
     
  19. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    Anonymous-san: okay so there's these two strings, right
    Anonymous-san: They walk into a bar
    Anonymous-san: The first string says
    Anonymous-san: Hello, I'd like a rum and cokerhe7954454gh2kjn.,.43>>[][]21?24
    Anonymous-san: The second string says
    Anonymous-san: You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated


    Oh jesus, I just got Mt Dew all over my desk.
     
  20. PT

    PT Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite

    <Korras> friendship among women: one doesn't come home one night, and tells her bf that she spent the night with a female friend of hers. bf calls 10 of her friends, and none know a thing.
    <Korras> friendship amongst men: same thing happens. man says he spent the night at a friends place. gf calls 10 of his friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say he's still there.
     

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