New Drugs for Women

TexasRaceLady

Active Member
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

* D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

* ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

* E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they
moved out.

* P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

* D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

* F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

* M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

* B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

* J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

* A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T!

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.

* N A G A M E T

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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I occasionally need DAMNITOL. :rofl:
 

Mare

New Member
* P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size.


Shit-Pass it on this way...... :D

By accident drank a gallon, now needs help getting up... :lol2:
 

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
Mare said:
* P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size.


Shit-Pass it on this way...... :D

By accident drank a gallon, now needs help getting up... :lol2:

I can never understand why women are never satisfied with their breast size. :confused: I don't care about the size, just whether or not I'm sucking on them...:D
 

Winky

Well-Known Member
Barbie's letter to Santa
Dear Santa,
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year,
playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing
suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from too many tea parties.
I hate to break it to you Santa, but it is DEFINITELY pay back time!!
There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm
gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you don't want to be
around to smell it!) So, h ere's my holiday wish list for this year, Santa.
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized
sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are
these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
like to have nylon and velcro up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white.
What bonehead at Mattel decided to be cheap and mold imitation underwear
to my skin? It looks like cellulite!!!
3. A REAL man....maybe G.I.Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over
that wimped out excuse for a boy-toy Ken. And what's with the earring
anyway? If I'm going to have to suffer with him, for christ's sakes,
make us anatomically correct.
4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp
away once he is anatomically correct.
5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to
twist, just do it!!
6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How
about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account
exec!!
8. A new, more 90's persona. Maybe a "PMS Barbie", complete with a
miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of
chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, fitted with
fake
fur coat, bottle of spray blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie",
sporting a Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.
9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
10. Mattel stock options. It's been 40 years-I think I deserve it!
Okay Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to
society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree,
then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.
It's that simple.
Yours truly,
Barbie
 

Luis G

<i><b>Problemator</b></i>
Staff member
Gato_Solo said:
I can never understand why women are never satisfied with their breast size. :confused: I don't care about the size, just whether or not I'm sucking on them...:D

Well, big is good, but way too big is bad. As long as I get a handful and a mouthful it's all good :D :D
 
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